


DKMPFF

by SolarSneak (SolarSchizophrenia)



Category: Homestuck
Genre: All of these are pretty much eventual, Biological Shenanigans, Blood and Injury, Cultural Differences, Dave totally has a pregnancy kink, Egg Laying, F/F, F/M, Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Mpreg, Multi, Other tags will be added as the story progresses!, Oviposition, Pregnancy Kink, Pregnant Sex, Unplanned Pregnancy, Violence, Xenobiology, a lot of references to other preg!Karkat fics I've read, because that's my fav, everyone is crushin on kk, poor karkat is the center of all the hurt, stick around if you wanna see them become true!, there is now smut ;)
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-06-03
Updated: 2018-01-08
Packaged: 2018-04-02 18:54:34
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Underage
Chapters: 12
Words: 26,465
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4070845
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SolarSchizophrenia/pseuds/SolarSneak
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Manual reproduction used to be the primary way of troll breeding. Though over the years, more and more wrigglers were born with dysfunctional genetic chambers. Chambers that were only able to retain the slurry for a moderate amount of time before seeing it's uselessness and ejecting it from the body. The empress and her advisors saw this as a very big impending threat, and soon developed the pail and mothergrub system. They were determined to keep their species alive and plentiful. Soon enough the sightings of a natural breeder were beyond rare, and those left were seen as treasures, beautiful and nearly god-like. They were only seen with jadebloods, cared for and protected by them. And when the last few had died out, the tales of natural breeders were only heard of in the history books of jade-blooded school feedings.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Well, there's a lot I want to say, but I don't want to keep you from readin' the fic, so i'll cut it short! Karkat is a seadweller via mutation in this fic, but it won't be explored too much in the story.  
> Jade and John are on the meteor now, and they are approaching the new session to the point where they will arrive within a few months or so. (Probably six, idk.)  
> As a final announcement: I have no idea what the hell I'm doing. Enjoy! :3c

**Karkat's POV**

You are currently treading through this dank ass meteor looking for Gamzee. Even though every other time you do this you never fucking find him. You honestly don't know what the hell you're doing at this point, but oh well, you're already here so might as well look for the chucklefuck in question.

Your mind wanders as you continue your search, and you think back to the previous night. The way Dave had touched you, kissed you sweetly, and oh, fucked you _senseless_ . You try not to get too caught up in the thought though, don't wanna pop a wiggly before you have "bro times" with your moirail, eugh. But you just can't seem to stop the smile that spreads across your lips at the sleepy, "I love you" Dave had given before promptly passing the fuck out on top of you. Didn't even give you a chance to say it back, the asshole. Of course, you still did. You're not as ignorant to miss the perfect time for a cliché rom com moment, let alone tell Dave how you feel. The thing that actually really gets you though, is that you _meant it_. You love Dave so much you'd question your loyalty to your own self hatred!

And that's saying something!

The memory fades as you hear a small clanking noise in a nearby abandoned lab. Well, you guess the search for the, "high-as-balls purple sasquatch" as Dave calls him; is over. Though Gamzee's actually been sober for quite awhile now, and doesn't wear much purple. But hey, who are you to argue with the nickname logic of the infamous _Dave Strider_. You quietly saunter over to the doorway and lean on the frame.

"Hey asshole, a greeting would've been nice!" You yell into the darkness, before lowering your voice to a more serious tone. "Where've you been all this time? You wouldn't believe it, but I was actually starting to get worried!" You take a step into the room and hear some shuffling start up. Only, it sounds a bit off... Instantly, you begin a full stride across the room towards the source of the odd shuffling, "Gam, are you alright? Did you hurt your leg or something? Goddamit, I told you to stop clicking your heels with those clubs!". You stop a few feet away, and cross your arms when you don't hear a response. The shuffling stops, and the glow of white carapace eyes blink up at you. Holy shit, hhhholy shit, that is _not_ Gamzee.

You take a step back, and the thing follows your movements with glowing eyes. You quickly get into a defensive stance, and just in time too, 'cause the thing just fucking throws itself at you. It's soo heavy, you're barely able to throw it aside as you block, this may be one of the carapace soldiers that wandered the inner halls of the meteor. Fuck, and you forgot your sickles. Like a dumbass, you figured you didn't need them as long as you found Gamzee. You try to dodge as it slashes at you with thick black claws, you're a bit rusty with this stuff, so it catches your elbow a bit. You hiss and lash your uninjured arm at it, scraping the side of its face with some of your own claws. It rattles at you, the same way the mayor would at a tower of cans that decided to topple over. It wasn't exactly an enraged sound, only one of moderate irritation. You're not taking any chances, so you thrust your fist forward to see how much damage you could get with that. But the carapace does something you didn't expect, and fucking catches your arm. Using it to drag you forward, it throws you against some nearby equipment. Augh, fuck, you're pretty sure your arm is broken. You get up anyway, like hell if you're going to let that monstrosity take you down so easily.

It rattles some more, lowering itself to get ready to lunge again. You have no intention on letting it get the upper hand this time, so you charge it before it gets the chance to spring, knocking it and yourself to the ground. _Aw shit_ , that was definitely a bad idea, god you're full of those today, because it most certainly does not have the broken arm you do. It grabs you by the shirt and slams you into the hard metal floor, making you feel lightheaded and dizzy. Fuck, it's on top of you and is probably going to kill you now. You hiss and weakly try to move yourself away, it's a lost cause, but at least you tried right?

...You're going to miss everyone...especially Dave.

You open your eyes to find that it has a leg drawn back, one with claws, and you realize this is not going to be a quick death. You close your eyes again as it swings the leg forward, but there's no pain when it touches down. You open your eyes slightly again, you're surprised to find that you can. You can feel yourself slowly drifting in and out of consciousness. It's foot is only resting there, on your lower abdomen. _What the hell is it waiting for?_

It lets go of your shoulders, no longer pinning you to the ground. You don't want to know what it plans on doing, so with your remaining strength you try to push it away entirely when it starts lifting your shirt. It swats your hands away, and looks up at you, your vision goes black.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> There's nothing much to say without spoiling it, heh. We're switching to Dave's POV!

 

**Dave's POV**

You're sitting at your turntables adjusting that sweet ass mixtape you showed Karkat the other day, so that it'll sound less like a "starving chirpbeast" as he called it. You expected that kind of reaction though, you wanted to see how he'd react to a little dub step. His reaction beyond the comment was equally as satisfying, he looked at you as if you had just shown him an extremely low budget hentai video. (Heheh, you should totally do that one of these days.) And you've never laughed so hard in your life. You were even able to get one of his little grins before he shoved you and accused you of deliberately trying to make his ears bleed. Boy that shove sure did start off one big ass wrestling match between the both of you. Though it was mostly a match of who can pin the other down the fastest. And of course it ended the same way most of your wrestling matches end, with you on top. You swear his ego is way too big for someone his size, it's like you're wrestling a baby bear most of the time!   
  
You tweak one knob on your turntables to make the end of the song fade out at a slower rate, it's not much of a change, but oh well. As the song starts up again, you sense some sort of presence. One like the times you're bro used to sneak into your room to pin notes to your wall when he thought you were asleep. You assume it's Karkat, coming back from yet another unsuccessful search for his murderous juggalo cuddle buddy. You pause the music and hang your headphones on the chair as you turn in your seat.   
"'Sup Kat, any luck finding your--"  
You stop. What the _fuck_ is _that_? It takes you a minute to recognize that it’s Gamzee. He's _right there_. And he's walking towards you apparently, carrying something that looks a lot like... Oh _fuck_.  
  
That monsterous excuse for a troll sets what looks like Karkat's carcass on the ground in front of you. Your face must look pretty fuckin' ridiculous because when he looks at you, his expression twists but he doesn't say anything other than,  
"Can a motherfucker help my little bro out? He's all kinds a messed up...I don't wanna do anythin' that'll fuck him up even more..."  
He sounds upset. You immediately jump into action after huffing out a little "yeah" and kneel down beside Karkat to check his pulse. Oh shit, he's still alive! But you gotta make sure to keep him that way, so you message Jade to get her ass over here ASAP and bring any first aid she can. Fortunately, she pretty much hoarded that shit from what remained of earth while she was on the ship soaring through space.   
  
When she finally shows up, apparently "bring first aids" meant bring everyone else on the whole damn meteor too. But you don't worry about that now, you worry about Karkat's seemingly fucked up arm. Luckily, when you pull the sleeve up it doesn't look like it's been broken too bad. Jade hands you this weird bone setter she alchemized for efficiency or some shit, and quickly explains how it works. You do what she says, wrapping the contraption loosely around his broken forearm. As soon as you snap the little fasteners shut, the thing activates and you watch as it straightens out the bone, you'll need to put that in a sling later. Jade takes up the process of cutting off his shirt to check for additional injuries, and her face shows that she has no idea what to make of his gills. Kanaya makes a little gasping noise, and Jade questions on why they're not bleeding as much as they should be. You guess she thinks they're really deep cuts. Before she decides to prod one with a scalpel, you cup your hand over the slits and shake your head at her.  
  
"They're his gills." You say, and Jade sort of blinks and tilts her head before continuing elsewhere. Karkat is going to _kill_ you when he comes to, but oh well, this is for his own damn good. Jade is suddenly on her feet and telling something to Gamzee and John. She doesn't seem to be affected by the fact that Gamzee's actually here right now, whereas John won't stop staring. Poor guy hasn't seen him in the flesh before, let alone covered in blood. Then he nods at Jade's orders and Gamzee says something along the lines of "No motherfuckin' problem dog sis." which makes her ear twitch. You begin to remove the bone setter and Rose hands you a casting kit. Luckily, you've watched your bro use these plenty of times before, back when you were in your parkour phase on earth.   
  
You lay everything out beside you like he had, and begin wrapping Karkat's forearm in stockinette, making sure that it was smooth before continuing on to the padding. Then, after applying the padding and fiber glass material, along with a few final touches, you apply the last layer of fiberglass material before laying the arm back down on the kit container beside him to keep it elevated. You really hope casts and all that shit works on trolls.  
  
Jade came back to kneel beside Karkat, and began to strip away the rest of his shirt. You wanted to move him to a more comfortable surface, but she said she had no idea whether he had internal bleeding or not, and if he did, having Gamzee bring him here like that was as much damage as she was willing to risk.   
  
Your hands start to shake, she said he could have internal bleeding, isn't that a bad thing? What if he's bleeding out and you don't even know it?! He could even be _dying_. Rose suddenly places her hand on your arm, dragging you out of your thoughts.  
"I'm sure he's going to be fine, Dave." She says, and you didn't realize you were clutching Karkat’s tattered shirt to the point where it made your knuckles white. You loosen your grip when John and Gamzee finally show up with a couple boxes of medical equipment. Jade motions for them to set them beside her.   
  
When they do, she immediately reaches into one of the boxes and pulls out a wand looking scanner along with a small monitor. She must've gotten pretty damn good at alchemizing if she managed to make a portable MRI machine. You back up and let her do her thing. You realize she must've been paranoid about not having the right stuff to heal this kind of thing, and didn't want one of you die from an injury before you got to the new universe. You'd hate to say it, but her paranoia probably just saved your ass from losing one of your best bros, and more importantly, your boyfriend.   
  
She sets the scanner down and let's out a breath, there's no internal bleeding. Everyone sort of relaxes and continues doing what she had requested each of them to do. She tells you that you're allowed to move him to a better place now that he doesn't have any internal injuries, so you shift into a more supportive position. You get a good hold underneath him, on his upper back and behind his knees before hoisting him up, mindful of the drying cast on his arm.   
  
You set him down carefully on a nearby couch, and adjust his head a bit, brushing bangs out of his face. You start dressing a few more wounds on his elbow, and Jade comes over to stitch up a nasty cut on his leg. You check his back and there are small fragments of glass imbedded in the skin, glass thin enough to be from one of the abandoned labs, it was as if he was slammed into it. You begin to remove the glass, and bandage up the small cuts left behind. You're frustrated by the time you're done. _What the hell could have done this to him?_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I made this chapter a bit longer, to account for how short the first one was. I'll most likely have the next chapter up by tomorrow if I'm not too busy, thanks for reading!


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> If in case you hadn't figured it out yet, I have this headcanon that a carapace of any kind, cannot kill an innocent. And they are able to detect when someone is pregnant in order to avoid killing potentially innocent beings. Hence, when that carapace nearly killed Karkat, but stopped right when it felt the innocent life growing inside of him. ;3c

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is in 3rd person omniscient because I'm an asshole, lol

The headache Karkat woke up to was definitely not helping his condition, let alone his momentary confusion as to where he was exactly. When he opened his eyes he expected to be laying in some weird ass dream bubble with his similarly dead (and annoying) ancestor. But instead what he saw was the dull gray ceiling of one of the interior rooms of the meteor.

His thinkpan swam with what had happened, and he tilted his head to the side to get a better look at his surroundings. He was in one of the rooms that he and Dave usually hung out in. Specifically the one where Dave kept his turntables, and where Karkat kept what romcoms and books he had. As he continued to look around, he found that Kanaya and the Mayor were in the room with him. She was asleep on an armchair, while the Mayor was messing around with his portable messenger device. Karkat rasped a small hello in the Mayor's direction (god his voice sounded awful). And he Mayor twisted a bit to look at Karkat, then squinted his eyes happily before quickly typing something and showing it to the troll.

"WV: HELLO KARKAT. DAVE IS CURRENTLY IN THE BATHROOM, SO I TOOK UP THE TASK OF GUARDING YOU WHILE YOU RECOVERED IN HIS PLACE." Karkat gave him a little grin,

"Huh, I guess I should say thanks mayor; your generosity surely knows no bounds." The mayor nods solemnly, and types up another quick message,

"WV: WELL WHAT GOOD IS A MAYOR IF HE CANNOT PROTECT HIS CITIZENS CARRYING INNOCENCE?" Karkat laughs softly and whispers,

"Yeah, hate to break it to you Mayor, but I think we already established that the things I did in the game, were most certainly /not/ innocent." The mayor did a little happy blink and began to type once again,

"WV: NO, NOT YOU CHILD; I MEANT THEM." And he gently papped Karkat's midsection. Karkat's expression turns into one of confusion and Kanaya decides to take that as her queue to wake up.

She yawns and looks over to find that Karkat is awake, and trying to get up. "Karkat wait, you are not in good enough condition to be walking around so soon!" She rights herself, and struggles to get up to make sure he doesn't fall, he's looking a bit dazed as he sits up. He sways and she puts her hands on his shoulders as soon as she's close enough to balance him. He stays where he is, and looks utterly exhausted as he examines the cast in the sling on his arm.

The mutantblood slumps a bit, not going anywhere, so she takes a step back just as Dave walks in. He looks relieved, and immediately breaks into a jog when he sees Karkat. As soon as he reaches him, he kneels to wrap his arms around the small troll. " _Oh thank god, you're not dead_ " He breathes, and Karkat leans into him.

"Heh, glad to see you too, Dave." Karkat laughs, bringing his good arm around to pat Dave's upper back. Kanaya gets up and taps the mayor on the shoulder meaningfully.

"I will tell the others that Karkat is awake and well." She says as she crosses the room, Mayor in tow, and exits.

As soon as she does, Dave pulls away from Karkat, and moves to press a kiss to his forehead. "Care to explain why I had my boyfriend lain in front of me half dead by a creepy blood covered juggalo?" He rested his chin on the space between Karkat's horns.

"I was not half dead, you drama queen, just unconscious. I'm perfectly functional now." He buried his face in Dave's chest and sighed. "I was looking for Gamzee and one of those corrupt carapace soldiers caught me off guard, that's it."

Dave shifted, "What about your sickles?? You could've cubed that thing _easily_ , dude." He began tracing little circles on Karkat's back. The back that was covered with a black t-shirt instead of his long sleeve. Which had been utterly ruined by Jade via scissors. He was waiting for Karkat to notice and chew him out for it.

"I left them, I've been down there before and hadn't seen anything. I guess I assumed it was safe? It was dumb." Karkat admitted, and he pushed Dave back a bit so he could get a better look at his face. "You look like shit." He states blandly.

"Speak for yourself dude, I look better than you." Dave retorted, "How you feelin' by the way?"

Karkat's eyes followed the pattern of the gear on Dave's shirt, "Well, I've been better." He laughs, "That thing really put up a fight, I'm surprised I made it out of there still intact." He looked up, small earfins twitching a bit.

Dave cupped Karkat's face in his hands, and leaned down to peck his lips. Karkat exhaled through his nose when they parted, and leaned back in for more before Jade walked in with a, "WHOA BOYS, KEEP IT IN THE RESPITE BLOCK!". Much to their dismay.

Her terminology certainly changed after she found out about the troll's alternatives. She once asked Karkat to list them so she could compare them to earth terms and laugh. He declined, there were far too many, and he was busy at the time. Vriska however, happily took that challenge head on.

Jade was closely followed by John, Kanaya, and Gamzee as she approached the couch to check Karkat's vitals and injuries. John laughed at the remark, and Dave got up to greet and fist bump him while he joined the two of them near the couch. Kanaya brought some water, and a plate of food for Karkat, which she set aside on a nearby table while Jade checked how his injuries were healing. After Jade was done, Gamzee squatted in front of Karkat and began to apologize quietly about the fact that he wasn't there to protect him sooner. Karkat sighed and papped his cheek, whispering consolations.

Dave finished updating the rest of them on what had apparently gone down in the labs between Karkat and the carapace. They all agreed that they should take more precautions about wandering through the meteor, in order to prevent things like this from happening again. Kanaya actually takes note to get a bit more details out of Karkat later, perhaps even have Rose join them to get more information. Though now that she thinks about it, she doubts he'll tell her anything he has worries about, so she may have to seek help from his, uh, rather distasteful moirail...

After their conversation is over, and they've decided on sending John and a couple others to hunt and take down the rogue carapace. Kanaya goes back to the couch to find that Karkat has eaten and fallen asleep. Gamzee is gathering the empty dishes and beginning to head out when she catches his elbow.

"I hope you don't mind, but we need a bit of intel from Karkat about the attack in order to confirm the extent of his injuries. I'm afraid he might refrain from telling me or Rose anything peculiar or thought provoking that might've happened. I trust that you will be able to get this information for us, we need to know what we're going up against so that we may prepare accordingly. And so that we can make sure nothing on his being has been tampered with while he was unconscious."

Gamzee nods all slow like, "Sure thing Kan-sis, I can motherfuckin do that."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this took so long, there were personal problems going on and I am now unmedicated so these may take awhile to update before I get my shit together. Thanks for readin'! ;V


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> AHA! Thought I was gone did you! NOPE! I'm back and better than ever baby! Lets get this show on the road with a bit of gamkar for the soul! >:3

Your little miracle bro talks a lot, even in his sleep. You can't hear much of what he's up and snooze-blathering about, but you can hear little mumbles and chirps come from him every once in awhile too. You feel pretty fuckin' bad for having him search for you like that, and you sort of saw this kind of thing coming. But you've been one busy motherfucker these days, and you don't really expect any of the others to understand.

Ever since you up and met the messiahs, and got off the green shit, your thinkpan's been tickin' like clockwork. You don't have much time for pale times with your little crab bro. Which makes you kinda sad, but hey, a brother's gotta do what a brother's gotta do.

You sigh, pet his hair, and he purrs a bit in his sleep. You never really noticed how motherfuckin' cute he is. Well, of course you had noticed, he's your moirail after all. You just never thought of him as cute in a way that _wasn't_ pale as pure sugar. Wait, that didn't come out right. Fuck--you mean--you don't look at him like that! At least you didn't _before_ , but you're startin' to think you're not so sure about that now... Not that you'd ever admit that out loud.

Oh well, you'll deal with that later. For now, you notice that your palebro's fidgeting something fierce in his sleep. You reach your hand out to pap the horrorterrors away, but you see him flinch suddenly, and do something you haven't seen him do in years. Only when he was in the game.

Your little crab starts to cry in his sleep. These days he never cries about a horrorterror. And hell if that doesn't fuck with your blood pusher. This must be a bad one. You frown, and cup his face in your hands, leaning down to kiss his forehead. He whimpers and puts his little hands on his belly, as if you'd try and rip at it while he's gettin' his nap on.

You don't take it personally though, he must be dreamin' about the days back on Alternia. They would surely do something like that to him in his old neighborhood. It's why you stayed closer to the ocean, seadwellers don't bug you if you keep your distance. Besides, that's where your lusus chose to place your hive, much to your convenience. You guess that was a fair trade for leaving you behind all the time. Though Karkat says if he ever meets your goatdad, he'll knock 'em where the sun don't shine.

You smile and pet between his horns. That's your lil crab for you, always lookin' to fight someone who's up and purposefully done wrong.

His purring stops and he shifts a bit, cracking an eye open before groaning and pushing his face into the pillow the time-bro brought for him. You chuckle and ruffle the hair between his horns. He turns his head to face you and peers at you from under those beautiful dark lashes of his,

"I feel like shit." He says, and you pap his cheek whilst nodding and grinning.

"Well it only makes sense brother, your body's gotta hell of a lot of healing to up and get done. It ain't gonna be effortless." You drawl, he groans and rubs absentmindedly at his tummy.

"Ugh, I'm going to puke." He deadpans, and you laugh lightly.

"Naw it ain't a bad thing. It'll be over before you know it, just you watch." You smile comfortingly at him and brush his bangs out of his face. His eyes squint at you a bit before he abruptly sits up, pain lacing in his eyes.

"No no no, I'm really gonna puke. Hand me that trash receptacle,," he says, hand covering his mouth as you lean over and grab the bin, handing it to him. He emptied what you guess is pretty much everything you just fed him before he puts the trash down and slumps back against the couch. You watch as he rubs his tummy a bit more, before you let your brows crease in concern. Is he sick? Is one of his injuries infected?

All of the possibilities fill your mind and you lose focus on the situation around you. Then a hand gently paps your face. You look up and Karkat looks concerned,

"Hey, are you alright? You kinda just zoned out on me there." He looks mildly suspicious, but there's worry there too. A look you decide you don't like on him.

You cup your hand over his and nuzzle his little palm, "Just worried for my lil bro is all. You were up and sayin' somethin', right? Let me hear it bro, what's on your beautiful mind?" You grin and let your hand drop, and he slowly retracts his to begin fiddling with his t-shirt.

"I had a horrorterror just now," he says, and you reach over to take his hand in yours. "I was alone, and there was a knife in my gut, right here." He gestures at his belly, the part he had been rubbing at earlier."But it wasn't like they were trying to kill me. More like they were trying to kill something behind--or inside of me even. I didn't know which, but then things started spilling from the wound. I couldn't see what it was, but I felt really sick and I can't get it out of my mind now. I think it might be a sign that something's wrong Gam. I'm worried." He looks all frightened, and you rise to sit on the couch with him, pulling him snug against you and wrapping your arms around him. He sighs and relaxes against you.

"I think it's just the dream gettin' to you bro, I ain't gonna lie. But if you want, we can ask dog-sis to take a look at you so you can rest assured." You say, and rub and pat his back a bit while he considers.

He nods against your chest,"Yeah, I think that'd be best. I'd feel better knowing." You rumble up a purr to try and calm him down a bit.

You both sit there for awhile and he begins to purr along with you, mixing the vibrations throughout your bodies. You could sit here with him forever if you could. But the time-bro asked you to wake him up if Kark comes to while he's snoozin'.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This one's not that long, hopefully they'll get longer over time, but idk. Thanks for waitin' for me to get off my ass and post this chapter guys! I don't know how long it'll be until the next one, but I'll try to get it up as soon as I can! Godspeed! ;9


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Karkat awakens, and Kanaya doesn't think this newly discovered side effect of mutation is a side effect at all.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry I've been gone so long! Here's a chapter in John's POV as an apology <3 Hopefully I won't be gone too long for the next chapter! I'll try not to, I promise ;9

"I'm just gonna go check on him real quick." Dave says, and you push him right back into his chair.

"Nope, you're gonna stay right here! Kanaya said that he needed rest, he can't get rest if you're constantly hovering!" Dave frowns and crosses his arms, (something he no doubt picked up from Karkat) he's probably thinking of another excuse, but apparently not finding one right off the bat. He's been trying so hard to get back into the room Karkat was resting in ever since you dragged him into this one. When you all agreed that it would be best that Karkat is left to rest with his 'more than capable of protecting him' moirail, you could hear the reluctance in Dave's voice as he murmured in agreement. He said he was going to sleep afterward, but you knew that that was a _filthy lie_ ,(he had that look on his face that he has whenever he lies, it's pretty distinct! Like he's trying to hide that he's constipated or something.) he knows god tiers don't have to sleep! You guess Rose was too caught up in her conversation with Jade to have noticed. And sure enough, you caught him trying to sneak back into the room after everyone had left. That's why you're here now, the poor guy just won't stop his worrying! (Even if he doesn't show you, you can tell he'd vault over you if it didn't mean he'd look ridiculous while doing so. The guy's got a lot of pride.)

"What if he wakes up and thinks I ditched him?" He says, and you frown, putting your thoughts on hold.

"Ok, that was the worst excuse you've come up with yet, and you know it. This is Karkat we're talking about, Dave. Remember? He would never think like that!" You could practically feel him roll his eyes behind his shades,

"Yeah yeah, I know." He waves his hand dismissively and leans back in his chair. You sigh, and absolutely _do not_ jump when you hear a deep rumbling voice at the doorway.

"Karbro's awake if y'all wanna go on in and talk to him." Gamzee drawls, and leans on the doorframe. You notice he's looking expectantly at Dave. Who stands and from what you see, tries to look cool whilst also walking fast (it's not working), while he follows the huge clown out the door. You also follow, 'cause why the hell not? As much of an asshole Karkat pretends to be, you know he just uses that bullshit to hide his very many feelings and concerns. It took you awhile, but you've slipped past his defenses a few times, getting a peek at his soft, gooey center(hehe). He punched you pretty hard in the shoulder when you called him a softy.

When you reach the room, Jade's in there, as well as Kanaya. And as much as you love seeing your ecto-sis getting along with your troll companions, it's a bit worrying to see the most medicinal of the lot here. Your eyebrows furrow and you look at her questioningly, she shrugs and continues re-packing a box of... medical devices? You'd figure she was just checking to see if anything had changed while he slept, but why would it? Unless there was something currently being swept under the rug. And by the looks of it, maybe something is?... Jade looks mildly confused, and Kanaya looks contemplative. It must be a mutant thing Karkat has; like the gills. That was weird. Especially when the other trolls thought it was weird too. You walk up to them, so Dave and Karkat can "secretly" fawn over each other (they think they're being subtle but god damn, you could smell their puppy love from the other side of the meteor). You begin conversation by asking an obvious question.

"What's all that equipment for?" You gesture towards the box in Jade's arms and rock a bit on the balls of your feet. Kanaya answers you while Jade rolls up a stray wire, holding part of it up with her teeth.

"Karkat had a very vivid dream he was quite shaken about, Gamzee insisted we come and rid him of his fear by showing him just how fine he is." She explains, and takes a quick glance in Karkat's direction. He's sitting with Dave on the couch, they're leaning forward while Dave draws invisible lines on the table. He's probably explaining something to Karkat again, but with way more crazy comparisons than needed, so nothing unusual there. Jade captchalogues the box and cracks her knuckles.

"Yeah, nothing's wrong with him. Well we thought there was at first, but in the end we had to just sum it up to his mutated genetics." (Aha, just like you thought!) She continues after a pause, "Did you know trolls had uteruses? Well, they don't work anymore, they're literally just sitting there in their pelvises, but even the boys have them!" She has that weird glint in her eyes, the one that she has whenever she finds something fascinating, it's creepy when you don't know if it's a safe look or not.

"Only they're not called uteruses on Alternia, they're our genetic chambers. Our race was once exclusively oviparous." Kanaya adds, smoothing imaginary wrinkles from her skirt while she mumbles to herself, "The trait had died centuries ago, so the possibility of Karkat having a perfectly functional genetic chamber would be one in a million..." (You had to strain to hear what she said.) Does that mean it's not just a mutant thing? Or does it mean that it is, and you're questioning things for nothing..? Huh, you think you're going to keep your eyes peeled for anymore information. Besides, this meteor was getting _so_ boring; mystery-mutant-alien-biology sounds way more fun than chess with the mayor. Not that you dislike it, it's just really hard to beat him for some reason. He's too clever!!

As Kanaya and Jade exit the room, you walk over to join your two bros on the couch. Gamzee's literally just sitting there staring into space (probably thinking about murdering puppies) next to Karkat, so you sit on the opposite side of the couch next to Dave. You never thought he'd be the one who creeped you out the most, judging by how Karkat talked about him, you'd thought he'd be a big goofball! Though now that you think about it, he probably is, it's just his natural look of 'death by clown objects' that gets in the way. Just like Karkat's scowly facade! Only... you're not so sure you want see what's inside... What if it's just more creepy clown stuff instead of the goofy clown friend you expected?! You'd rather stick to your old way of seeing him, a scary face with a peaceful clown-friend personality.

You find out that Dave was explaining human conception to Karkat after he heard about the whole weird troll-uterus thing. Karkat looks thoroughly disturbed, which is reasonable you guess since they're usually born from eggs, and not through live birth. He slumps back on the couch and sighs before speaking.

"The whole notion seems disgusting and disturbing. So let me get this straight, little pink sea monkeys swim around in a human womb until they turn into wriggler-sized grubs. And then _continue_  to swim around in their genetic provider's abdomen before basically being shat out. Eugh, no, this conversation is over." He moves to get up, should he even be walking? You heard he had a concussion or something... Either way it doesn't seem like he cares. Dave grabs his wrist nonetheless.

"Hey man, I don't think that's a good idea." He says, and Karkat peels his hand off of his wrist while he responds,

"Oh please Dave, I've sustained injuries much worse in the game, and fought whilst sustaining them. I think I'm perfectly fine enough to walk to the goddamn bathroom." He stands upright and begins to walk towards the exit, you turn your head back to Dave and shrug. You notice Gamzee's gone, you didn't even see him get up, or leave as a matter of fact... So how?? You're just gonna drop it, no point in wondering about scary clowns when they aren't causing trouble. Which you hope is true.


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kanaya's POV cause she's gonna be an important piece in this giant puzzle. Also, shit man I took so long editing this I did NOT plan on it taking that long. This is sort of an end of the year gift, for once I'm not a total asshole! Enjoy!

Once you've put the box of devices back in it's rightful place, you begin to make your way to your respite block. The recent check-up with Karkat had got you thinking. Maybe if you found the right book, you could figure out why his genetic chamber looked so different from that of the average troll. It reminds you of one section you had read on, but you have many doubts, the option is ludicrous... That type of reproduction had been ruled out centuries ago! You stand on the transportalizer that has your sign, and patiently wait for your molecules to be broken down and transferred into your room.

Perhaps the reason could be that his genetic chamber has the capacity to hold more material than usual? No, that can't be it... The suspense is of deadly proportions, you _must_  consult your textbooks! And you have to admit, the frustration that comes with a lack of knowledge is certainly one of the best ways to get to hitting the books. It's something you would never do back on Alternia, but since your beloved lusus isn't here for you to consult with, you'll have to make do with your old school-feeding books.

You find the book that contains the history of troll reproduction. You're sure the section you're looking for was somewhere within the first hundred pages... You flip through the first few chapters and--yes! Here it is! You bookmark the page and decide to read up on it with a cup of coffee on one of those comfortable chairs in the west lounge. You gather the book in your arms and transportalize your way to the western sector of the floor your group usually stays on.

Only Makara ventures to the other floors on a regular basis, which is most likely why Karkat had been attacked. You haven't cleared some of the floors, and that reminds you that the beast that attacked your small friend-leader is still out there. You don't know what it could have possibly wanted from him, but you believe there is a reason it didn't kill Karkat when it so obviously had the chance. What happened down there that prompted it to spare him? All of the defective carapacians that were left in the lower levels are still programmed to kill. You're guessing they left the defective ones because they're highly off-putting, and seem to try and kill anything that moves and can fight. You've even seen two of the same side kill each other once. They do not look like carapacians, more like mild horrorterrors. Mild because you've all seen worse.

You enter the west lounge and no one is there, thank god. You set your book on the chair you plan on studying on and make your way to the coffee machine nestled in the corner of the room. The machine does not let you decide what is in your coffee, Rose had told you that there were many types that were available, but this machine only makes one kind. It's a shame really, you'd like to try the many kinds there are. Especially if you get to try them with Rose by your side (Winky Face). You chuckle to yourself as you set the mug aside to cool and you return to your studies.

Compared to the amount of information on the other topics, there isn't much on the subject of completely manual reproduction. It briefly explains the copulation process before going into the pregnancy stage. This is weird, this whole section has always been weird. But you tough it out because you absolutely must find out if this is why Karkat's genetic chamber looked different, yet familiar at the same time. This could be your chance to redeem yourself, you should have guarded the mothergrub egg more securely. You will never forgive yourself for what happened. It was so sudden, completely unanticipated. Though you can't help but feel that it was all because of your inability to properly and effectively protect it.

You find a match that resembles what you remember, and that make it official, he can save you. Your _entire species_.... You scan over a list of pregnancy symptoms, and note the page for future reference. And maybe you will compare the visual examples to Karkat's own chamber with a false internal scanning session. You will have to be very discreet about all of this, it is truly scandalous. You are most likely going to worry Karkat if you do continuous check-ups, not to mention his exceptionally protective quadrantmates. You will have to gather all the information you can in one session. Otherwise you will have both Dave _and_  Gamzee on your back about why you are taking unnecessary exams when you said he was fine.

Ah, their pity is surely something to envy. Although, now that you're on the subject, you've always noticed that Karkat tends to pull on the heartstrings of many trolls when it came to redrom. And come on now, how would he not? He is a lovely looking troll, which is rare, paired with the fact that nearly his entire existence is downright pitiful... He was made a pariah at such a young age.. Poor boy..... You realize this is off topic. Not to mention a bit embarrassing. You will now delete that entire train of thought from your memory, or you will not be able to look Karkat in the eye for the rest of the week.

Though judging by that outrageously unintentional mind spell of self-discussion on just how pitiable your leader is, you suppose the section on outwardly effects may hold a significant amount of truth. You're beginning to wonder if it has effected the others as well.

You re-read the passage to get a better idea on exactly why it was necessary. Apparently, a pregnant troll is known to release a great amount of pity humors in order to have a better chance at not being attacked in their fragile state. Especially if the troll is particularly aggressive in their demeanor. Which makes sense, it's not like a troll that was heavily gravid could easily take up arms when they've taken things too far. Just imagining it is silly! It would probably be like fighting a flightless dark-season featherbeast. (Rose Likes To Call Them "Penguins", What A Whimsical Term.) And as for those who are not particularly aggressive, the extra protection is needed so that they aren't targeted for being helpless.

No wonder you've always heard of pregnant trolls being naturally attractive, they have to be in order to survive. They have more of a chance at being kidnapped by an assailant, but at least their captor wouldn't be prompted to badly injure or kill them... Usually.

You can't imagine what could have happened to Karkat if he had discovered his rare trait on Alternia. You've heard that the empress has been searching for red-blooded mutants since the Signless Sufferer had died. You don't know the fine details, but his blood lineage proved to experience a great amount of atavism. You're guessing that if she found his descendants, there may be the possibility of one of them containing the same reproductive system that he did. And what do you know, she was right, and that particular descendant is likely riding this meteor with you! Oh gosh, you _have_ to make sure it's true! You bookmark the page.

Someone is standing behind you.

You turn and nearly have a heart attack because it's just John.  
"Hi Kanaya! Heheh, did I scare you?" You don't give him an answer, because he doesn't need one. You sigh and let your head fall back against the back of the chair.  
"John, what in the world prompted you to do this to me. And-- how long have you been standing there??" He thinks for awhile, you wait.  
"Five to ten minutes?" You mentally face-palm.  
"So you read all of..." You gesture to the passage. He smiles, clearly proud at himself for sneaking up on you so effectively.  
"Yeah, I did! Do you think that's what's up with Karkat? Is that even... safe?" He answers like it was his business as much as it was yours to begin with. (How Did You Not Notice Him?? This Will Definitely Haunt You Forever.) You return to the conversation to answer and secure this information.  
"Well it certainly is a possibility... And as for safety, I suppose the risks could be compared to human birth, and Karkat is so small, if he was to be the savior of our race, he would become extremely vulnerable. Which both you and I know, he does not like to be."  
He nods in agreement.  
"John, you mustn't tell _anyone_  about this, especially Karkat, it's imperative that you keep this between us." You do _not_  need everyone on the meteor to assume anything of Karkat until you have fully made sure, and laid out the facts.

You're relieved when John nods once again,  
"Can do, Kanaya! But! Under one condition..." Your relief is gone. "I want to join you in Karkat-stalker-duty!" He beams, and you frown at his terminology. "You need more information, right? I'm one of his best bros! He would probably spill the beans easily just to get me to stop being annoying. I do it all the time!" He's much too proud of that. You also wonder what he meant by "spill the beans", you don't think Karkat would spill _anything_ , considering how neat he is. Though you suppose having John accompany you would put Karkat more at ease. He does not like to be pried for information, especially if it has to do with _him_. Perhaps John being there will make it seem less like an interrogation.   
You nod.  
"Alright John, I accept your conditions. And, excuse me? 'Karkat-stalker-duty'?? That is not what is happening here thank you very much." He has a wide smile on his face,  
"It totally _is_  stalking Kanaya, that's like the _definition_  of stalking." You wave your hand dismissively, you need to get down to business.   
"We can go to my room and plan the first stage of our mission. Most of my textbooks are there if we need any extra information. It is go time." He nods and puts on a mock-serious expression. You lead the way.


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> KarkatPOV

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow, it's been months since I've updated! Which I didn't intend on btw. It's just been super hectic over here, as usual. I figured I might as well post something before the Big Day, y'know? I'm totally gonna continue this after the comic's over by the way. I'm not done with this fandom quite yet! Anyway, have some good ol' Kanaya/Karkat interaction!

You feel absolutely shitty, and nothing helps. So far this past week you've been nauseous, tired, and fucking _hungry. All the time_. You don't know how much you ate today but you're pretty sure it was a shitton. You're waiting for the day when you look into the mirror and can't see anything other than gross. Because that's how you feel. Gross. You're also unbelievably content with it though, which kind of freaks you out. But then again you've never been this content with anything before, so it also feels kinda nice. You don't really care as much as you think you should. Or at least, not as much as you know Gamzee would think you should. But you haven't told him about any of this, not yet, because you're almost totally sure that this has to do with your most recent concupiscent activities. You can't just tell your moirail that your alien matesprit might've fucked something up in your system while pailing you stupid. You're pretty sure if you told him, you'd have to go into detail, and you'd probably end up running away in an embarrassed huff because he'd probably make comments about your boyfriend's performance. He'd also try to correct you whenever you'd say "boyfriend" instead of matesprit, like he always does, but you usually ignore him. You don't mind the word, even Dave calls you his matesprit sometimes. And culture clashes are bullshit, so you're just gonna do whatever.    
  
Back on the topic of your recent unusually pleasant, yet annoying biological shenanigans. You've noticed there's been this thin haze surrounding the edges of your vision lately, and every once in awhile, everything in your thinkpan turns to mush when you try to think negatively or berate yourself. Your own thinkpan is low-key mediating between you and your own self hatred... _what an asshole_. You're not exactly sure where your going right now, wandering aimlessly through the meteor's labyrinth of halls. You don't really care where you're going either though. John, Dave, and Jade went to hunt down that chess soldier thing that fucked up your everything, and Kanaya and Gamzee are nowhere to be found. So other than Rose, Terezi, Vriska, and the Mayor, you have no one to talk to. You're probably just going to talk to the Mayor, you're not too keen on talking to Terezi and Vriska when they're together, for obvious reasons, and Rose honestly scares the shit out of you. No one should be that good at collecting information just by watching you sit. What the hell even _is_ Rose?    
  
You casually suppress the need to shudder and continue your wandering, then stop. You realize now that you should really pay attention to where you're going because you have no idea where you are. Shit. You could probably turn around, try to see if you can go back the way you came. But what if you made turns? You're pretty sure there were some turns in there. _Goddamnittttt._  You let out a frustrated growl and turn to _attempt_  to find your way back. You do know that you're still on a safe floor, thank god. You still quicken your pace however, 'cause you're not gonna lie, even though it's safe doesn't mean it's not creepy as fuck. After a few turns in what you hope is the right direction, you turn to round a corner and immediately crash into someone. Of course it knocks you on your ass, so you have to look up to see Kanaya's surprised expression looking back down at you. (It also occurs to you that she didn't even stumble back, what the fuck.)   
"Oh, hey Kanaya." She hastily extends her arm out to you,   
"Karkat! Oh I am so sorry, I wasn't really paying attention to where I was going!" You take her hand, and with your good arm, haul yourself back to your feet. You brush the dust off the back of your jeans and clear your throat,   
"It's no big deal, neither was I honestly... Do you by any chance.. know where we are? I lost track awhile ago and I don't know where the fuck this is." Your ass hurts, she nods,   
"Yes, we are actually quite close to the eastern sector of our floor. The lounge should be a few turns from here." You consider the directions, at least you were pretty close to a transportalizer, what with all your aimless running around. "May I ask why you are _in_ this sector? I haven't seen you take much interest in it before." You toy with the makeshift sling holding your arm.   
"I don't know, I was looking for the mayor, but I guess I got sidetracked and started day dreaming instead of paying any attention to where I was going." She hums thoughtfully,   
"I see.. I was heading back towards the northern sector if you'd like to accompany me." Thank god you didn't have to ask, you'd probably sound stupid. Sometimes her presence acts as some sort of censor for you, you don't know why, but it's mostly only when the two of you are alone. Your words are foreign to you without your usual stream of expletives. With her they're only sad drops from a leaky, foul-mouthed water distribution apparatus. You nod,   
"Yeah, I think I'll do that, I'm pretty sure if I try to find my way to a transportalizer from here, I'll just end up aimlessly wandering again." She smiles,    
"Well, these corridors don't make it very easy to maneuver towards your destination efficiently... Shall we?" She gestures in the direction behind you and starts walking. You hum, and turn on your heel to follow.    
  
The two of you walk side by side at a modest pace down multiple dark and dimly lit corridors. Kanaya's voice pierces the momentary silence,   
"You're oddly quiet, is there something bothering you?" Your brows furrow, it's taking you awhile to process what she just asked, so you kinda just look at her. She flails quite gracefully. "I-I'm not pale-flirting, if that's what you're thinking.. I promise! As a friend, I truly am concerned. Is... something the matter?" You relax your face, it might've been your expression, but you don't think you were implying anything like that. Instead of lingering on the topic, you sort of flail a bit yourself. Should you tell her? It's a damn awkward topic, maybe you could get away with lying...   
"Yeah, I mean, no! I didn't-I mean--fuck." Shit. "Goddamnit, fine. Yes, something _is_ bothering me, but it's alright, I've got it under control." At least you hope you do. Geez, she's almost as good as Lalonde. She only hums at your embarrassing outburst.   
"Are you sure? You don't normally let yourself drift off long enough to actually get _lost_ at the opposite side of the meteor. Is your head injury bothering you? Does it hurt?" You shake your head and wave your hand dismissively.   
"No, it doesn't hurt... But.. Look, if I tell you what's wrong, will you promise to keep it between us?" She nods, and maybe it's you but she looks a bit eager, she's not making a good case for her claim of not flirting. You brush it off, because it's Kanaya, and she knows what's okay and what's not. You let out a sigh, here goes,   
"Okay, so I've been feeling a bit... _weird_ lately, but I don't think it's because of the attack. I mean, it was kinda going on before that too, and it's been, probably a week now? And shit, I can't talk about this kind of stuff with Gamzee, it's not a thing you can just, discuss with your moirail." She looks confused, but nods anyway.   
"Would you feel more comfortable discussing it with me? Since you can't mention it to Makara, and it's obviously causing you concern. You should talk to _someone.._. Have you talked to Dave?" That catches you off guard, your eyes widen and you nervously shake your head.   
"Oh no, definitely not, it kind of... involves him." Your face is burning, this is so goddamn embarrassing. Are you really about to discuss your sex life with Kanaya? Fuck it, you totally are, but for the record, you do _not_ hug your arm to yourself as you do so.    
"Err, okay, this is gonna be really awkward, but you asked for it." She raises her eyebrows, giving you her full attention. You let out an anxiously irritated growl,  " _Ithinksomethingwentwrongthelasttimemeanddavepailed_." You might as well be talking to the floor because you're pretty invested in staring at it. You do look up though, eventually. She gives you a confused look, blinking a few times before speaking.   
"Karkat... What?"    
"Uuggh, please don't make me repeat it.." You press your palm to your face in attempt to hide your disgusting hue. She waits.  "Me and Dave, the last time we p-pailed, I think something might've... gone wrong?" Her expression turns to one of concern.   
"Something went wrong... after you and Dave pailed." She repeats, "I can see why you haven't told anyone, that's not exactly your average topic of conversation... Would you care to elaborate?" Jesus fucking Christ you cannot believe you're having this conversation.    
"Yeah, uh, I don't know if it means anything, it hasn't really set off any alarms until now, but I feel like something's changed over the past week. Like, in the way we pail. God this is weird. It mostly doesn't happen until the end, and what worries me the most is that I'm not really... letting everything out when I'm supposed to? I mean, usually it's supposed to be a disgusting torrent of release, right? Well, I haven't been _giving_ much lately, and I think it's because I've recently started to feel this weird thing happen after he um, you know." She nods, the concern in her expression has deepened.    
"Do you think that.. Perhaps human genetic material might be toxic to us?" You blink, you didn't even think about that.   
"Holy shit, do you think that could be it? Is my chamber going to like, spontaneously combust?? I wouldn't be surprised actually cause it kind of feels that way." She blanches, which is an odd sight because she's still fucking glowing too.    
"It feels like you're going to.. combust? Karkat, that doesn't sound like something you should have kept to yourself for this long." You pinch the bridge of your nose.    
"It's not really, as much in a literal sense then it is in a metaphorical one. It doesn't hurt or anything, but it's definitely _changed_ in there. I just, I feel gross Kanaya, and bloated. And usually I'd be freaking out about something like this, but I can't really bring myself to care that much? For some reason? I don't know..." She looks contemplative,    
"Would you like to take another ultrasound? Something did look slightly off the last time we did one. I've been meaning to ask you again." Fuck, she saw something weird? What if it's a parasite? Oh god, you're not sure if you want to know.   
"Uhh, I don't know, what if it's bad? What if I _am_ going to spontaneously combust? Or like, what if it's poisonous and wrecking my chamber or something??" She suddenly looks curious,   
"Wait, why would it damage your genetic chamber? As far as I'm concerned, humans don't have the proper anatomy to do much of _anything_ to your chamber." You press your lips together and feel your face heat up. _You're not so sure about that last part._  Little does she know, if Dave rams you hard enough, you can definitely feel _something_ being accessed down there. But you're not going to tell her that, that'd be going too far. Or, at least for you it would be.   
"Never mind that, we can do the ultrasound thing. But if my reproductive organs are deteriorating, I'm blaming you." She shrugs,    
"I don't find that to be likely, but for your sake, I will take the blame valiantly." Sometimes you forget how fucking smug she can be about things. You roll your eyes and continue walking beside her through the dark corridor.


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> 'S been a long time coming. FINALLY. THE SMUT. Not right now but in the following chapters. I suppose I should warn for pregnant sex, but that's kind of inevitable given the nature of this story. Ohh, also a warning for a lot of fuckin violence, but honestly that's also gonna happen either way because I am a sadist. Poor Karkat. :>

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Heeeyyy, so I know I've been gone for a long-ass time. Like, an unfairly long-ass time, and I seriously hate that shit when I'm readin a fic, so to make it up to y'all, I'm gonna post two more chapters within the next 24hrs. Thanks for sticking around!! K love you bye ;v;

Dave peeks around the corner, relieved to find nothing lurking, yet at the same time pretty frustrated about it too. They're still looking for the corrupt carapacian soldier that attacked his boyfriend the other day. One thing they're looking for in particular, is one with scratches across its face, which Karkat had given it in attempt to defend himself. Dave finds it disconcerting that it didn't stop trying to kill the little guy until it found his tummy very interesting for some reason. What seems to bother everyone the most however, is that they don't know how long he had been incapacitated; who knows what that thing did to him while he was out. Kanaya searched for anything peculiar to make sure it didn't tamper with any of his important bits. Much to Karkat's dismay, she checked _everywhere_. The jade blood didn't find anything unusual, but the threat still seemed to linger in the back of each of their minds.

  
The knight turned and motioned for the others to follow as he rounded the corner, the hall was empty, but they stuck to the shadows nonetheless. It's been exactly 3 hours, 12 minutes, and 45 seconds since they first started searching, but it's been pretty fruitless so far. They've only found a few small corrupted soldiers. The one they're looking for is around Dave's height, and whatever it is, it moves a lot. They've nearly searched the entire floor, and that's a fuckton of searching. The labs tend to get rather big, they even checked the ceilings.

They didn't think twice about not checking the vents though, because honestly, being in such a confined space with dangerous creatures lurking around everywhere didn't sound too appealing. Besides, this is the floor that Karkat's murder-clown cuddle-buddy hangs out on the most, and no one wants to find out if whether or not he stores dead bodies in the vents too.

Another unproductive hour later and they've run out of places to look. Not willing to risk finding one of the giant more violent soldiers, they decided to report back to their group. Terezi, Vriska, Rose, and the Mayor were all waiting for them when they each transportalized into the main room. John explained how the soldier seemed to have moved, or was purposefully out-maneuvering them, because none of the carapacians matched Karkat's description. They began to discuss the possibility that it may have moved to another floor when Vriska suggests that maybe Karkat's description was _wrong_.   
"He got a concussion while fighting the thing, so maybe his story got a bit warped during the healing process." She shrugs as Dave and John exchanged glances. Rose speaks up,  
"While that _is_ a possibility, I think we should keep Karkat's description in mind as well. If he finds out that we've started searching for something other than what he'd described because we think he may be a bit delusional, it will definitely _not_ bode well with him." Dave slightly lifts his shades to rub at his eyes,  
"Maybe we should get Karkat to ask his clown-buddy to keep an eye out for it, since it _was_  on his floor." Everyone is quiet, mulling it over. Terezi crosses her arms,  
"It wouldn't hurt to try..."  
Vriska nods,  
"Yeah, okay then. Dave, since it was your idea, you get to be the one to convince the little guy to do it. It shouldn't be too hard, you're his m8sprit after all!" Her shit-eating grin is all sharp teeth, much like Terezi's, but with two slightly more prominent fangs. Not as prominent as Kanaya's of course, but close. Dave agrees to her terms, flicking his gaze around the room for a few seconds.  
"Where's Kanaya?" Usually she's glued to Rose's side, but she's not even in the room.  
"She had some business to attend to in the eastern sector." Rose explains. Hm, he wonders what kind of business, but doesn't ask; refusing to fall into his ecto-sis' meddling habits. He instead asks a more appropriate question.  
"And Karkat?" They all exchange glances, no one seems to have an answer.  
"He could be with his moirail at the moment, I haven't seen him since you left." That's a bit concerning, the fact that Rose didn't look too sure about her reply doesn't help. Everyone seems to be just realizing how troublesome that sounds.  
"Maybe he's with Kanaya?" John suggests, which Dave considers, but can't seem to find as a reliable assumption.  
"Okay, but since when are him and Kanaya best buds who wander off into the depths of the meteor together?" Terezi answers for him.  
“Probably ever since Mr. Cherry Pie’s bodily functions went haywire!” She's grinning from ear to ear, obviously smug about knowing something he doesn't. Especially about his own matesprit.  
“His _what?”_    
She crossed her arms, feigning nonchalance.  
“His smell, it's changed a lot! For the better, thank god, but I'm not sure if your human senses can pick it up as fast as a troll’s. In fact, I don't even think the average _troll_ can pick it up! But he _has_ changed, I can smell it. Something weird’s going on in his tiny, cherry-filled body.” Her grin is starting to irritate Dave. He knows if he wants to know any more than that it'll cost him. And he's not sure if she's pulling his leg or not, so he can't really ask Karkat about it either. He'd be begging for a lengthy annoyed reprimand for believing Terezi’s crazy stories again. He looks over to John, who shrugs. His expression is oddly unreadable…  
“I'm gonna go look for Karkat. Don't want him to actually _die_ this time.”He saunters off toward the secondary lounge.

  
::::::::::

Karkat refuses to look at the screen as Kanaya glides the wand across his belly. He doesn't like how hard she's pressing.

"You haven't left out any details, have you? And you're sure this has nothing to do with the attack?" Karkat nods his head,  
"I'm pretty sure it has nothing to do with the attack, since it was also happening before then. Just, I want to know what's wrong as much as I don't want to know what's wrong... Why? Do you.. see anything weird?"  
“I have yet to see much of anything, actually. This device is made for humans, they do not have organs that guard their incubation chambers. To put it simply, it's hard to see past your genetic bladder. Especially since troll tissue is significantly thicker than human tissue.”  
She hesitates, pressing particularly hard on the center of his lower abdomen. He cringes, he is _really_ not liking how hard she's pressing. She moves it a tiny bit lower and red flags begin to flash in his thinkpan, he hisses and grabs her hand to ease the pressure.  
"Oh god, don't do that, holy _shit."_  Kanaya raises her eyebrows at this reaction,  
"What's wrong?? Did that hurt?"  
He grimaces,  
"I-I don't know, kind of? It didn't really hurt _that_ much, but I have a feeling putting that kind of pressure anywhere near my chamber is probably not a good idea." Kanaya nods slowly,  
"I see... Well, I guess I can't do much about it, then. Your chamber _is_  different from that of a normal troll. But if your reaction to minimal pressure being put on it is so violent, then it must be for a reason. We're going to have to find _another_  way of figuring this out. If you're still interested, that is." He sighs,  
"No, it's fine. I'm not dead yet, so for now it probably isn't something to get worried about. Thanks, Kanaya." He wipes his midsection clean and climbs off the table. She secretly eyes him as she packs up the equipment. He does look quite bloated.. The possibility of him being pregnant is becoming uncomfortably likely. It's as exciting as it is troubling. She'll have to share this new information with her partner in crime.

  
Karkat makes his way to the transportalizer that leads to the secondary sector. He steps onto it and braces himself for the queasy feeling he's been getting after using these things. But no, instead he's being shoved unceremoniously off of it, and yep, right back onto his ass. Of _course_  someone was on their way as he stepped on to use it. He hates, _everything._ Oh wait. It's Dave. Who looks equally surprised to see Karkat.  
“Karkat! What the hell are you doing on the opposite side of the meteor?? I was about ready to start looking for bite-size troll pieces dude, at least _tell me_ when you plan on going on a field trip to the other side of the meteor.” He looks more relieved than upset.  
“Oh, yeah. Sorry. I was talking with Kanaya.” Karkat watches Dave as he comes to sit next to him on the floor, he didn't feel like getting up anyway.  
“What about?” His matesprit idly messes with his handheld. Karkat shrugs,  
“Been feeling weird lately, but it's nothing to freak out about. It's probably just some late hormonal asshattery from my most recent molt; it should go away eventually.” Dave accepts that answer, he's sure if it were serious Karkat would tell him about it. Or at least he hopes he would.

  
::::::::::

  
Kanaya approaches the area where she told John to meet her. But this time, she’s with Rose. Because she couldn't find a good enough excuse at such short notice and was needled into telling the truth. She supposes if what she hypothesized is true, everyone would know eventually. Anyways, Rose is a professional sleuth! Though Kanaya _has_  noticed Karkat’s tendencies to try and avoid her. That's going to be a problem.

  
John gapes when the two walk into the room.  
“Oh my god, Kanaya! _You told Rose??”_ The jadeblood nods,  
“Yes, I did. I think her insight is something that will do our research good. Also, there's no keeping secrets from the keeper _of_ secrets.” His expression goes back to neutral,  
“Yeah, touché. So Rose, what do you think of what we’ve found so far?”  
Walking over and sitting on one of the sofas, Rose explains that she only knows as much as he does and finds what she does know very intriguing.  
“Kanaya wanted to wait until we reached you so that we could discuss recent events together.” Kanaya sits next to her and brings out her research notepad. She writes as she describes her earlier interaction with Karkat, and how frantically he reacted to his lower abdomen being pressed on. He seemed to grow distressed the more she pressed and the lower she went, until it eventually reached a point where he could no longer keep himself from reacting. She suggests that she might be thinking about this too hard, but it'd make sense that he wouldn't want pressure to be put on his chamber while he was trying to incubate. Rose nods in agreement, John's stare switches between the two.  
“So that's it then? It’s official?” Kanaya shakes her head.  
“As much as I would like to come to a conclusion, we’ll need more information to back it up. We’re going to have to cross off a majority of the symptoms from the list before we can confidently make him feel like even more of an outsider. And you should know that that’s what this is inevitably going to do to him.” John and Rose exchange glances, then nod back to her. They split the list amongst the three of them before going their separate ways to try and find their subject.

  
::::::::::

  
Several days pass and Dave is sprawled on his couch with Karkat subconsciously purring as he sleeps on top of him. He's been so affectionate lately, affectionate and fucking _horny_. (Haha, troll pun.) Not that Dave's complaining, lil’ guy’s sexy as fuck when he tells him exactly how he wants it. It's usually rough nowadays, too; passionate and hungry. They're still in their “head-over-heels in love” stage, so they've been quite shamelessly going at it like rabbits.

  
Dave pets the soft thick hair between his boyfriend’s horns, earlier the troll mentioned something about John, Kanaya, and Rose being extra nosey lately. They've been asking him weird, random questions about his lifestyle, he thinks they may finally be suffering from severe boredom. Dave thinks back to John’s uncharacteristic lack of a response to Terezi’s comment concerning Karkat’s apparent “bodily changes”. That was the first time he's ever seen John use a poker face. It's a bit concerning, since when did John not have something to say? And since when did he get bored enough to ask Karkat of all people personal questions about his lifestyle?? The same goes for the girls. He knows Kanaya was up to something with Karkat when he felt weird, and Rose… she actually does that all the time so it’s honestly not that peculiar.

  
He somewhat carefully sneaks out from under Karkat. The dude has crazy strong REM sleep, he probably wouldn't wake up if someone slapped him in the face. Once he's arranged his boyfriend’s body into a more comfortable looking position, he heads out to find his aforementioned suspicious friends. He doesn't have to look for long, he can hear Kanaya and John's voices coming from the lounge. Dave stands against the wall by the door frame and hears them say something about Karkat’s sudden clinginess with him, and the smaller troll’s noticeable weight gain over these past two weeks.

  
This makes his chest hurt. Karkat’s already extremely insecure about almost everything about himself, why would they talk about him like this? Don't they know what this would do to him if he somehow overheard?? Before he could really think about it, Dave strides into the room towards them.  
"Planning your next questionnaire ambush on Vantas?" He asked, alerting them to his presence. They both look surprised to see him, probably thought he’d be hanging out with Karkat. John grins sheepishly, "Heeeyyy Dave! We were just, uh, reading some good ol' wizard fanfics. We were just waiting for Rose to join us. They're, uh, SUPER interesting!" He punctuates that sentence with a suspicious grin. Dave narrows his eyes behind his shades, John is a terrible fucking liar.  
"Oh, okay then, guess I'll see you guys later..." He salutes as he begins to turn back towards the hall. John and Kanaya let out a tiny sigh of relief, and just as they do, he flash steps to their side and snatches up the notebook. "Psych, I know you're not reading wizard fanfics. Now let's see what we have here..." He flash-steps to the other side of the room as he skims the page, only reading enough to have a mild understanding of it’s contents. He sees the list of symptoms, some of which are crossed off. John and Kanaya exchange a nervous look. "What the fuck do you guys think you're doing?" He looks a bit anxious at the implications of the crossed out words. Kanaya is the one who responds.  
"Well, er, you see.. after Karkat was attacked, and Jade was using the 'MRI' machine, I noticed his genetic chamber looked a bit different than the ones I usually saw in my school-feeding textbooks. I didn't say anything, because his chamber resembled that of one of the most ancient systems shown in the textbooks we had. I wasn't sure if it was true or not, but I was sure it was not something that would harm him." Dave doesn't seem to like where this is going,  
"... Okay, so what's up with all of this, then?" He gestures to the crossed off pregnancy symptoms on the list.  
"Ah, now that is also a result of the MRI reading. I checked once more after he had taken a nap, and noted that it also resembled what a functional genetic chamber may look like when it is in preparation for the incubation of newly fertilized eggs... I don't know who he could have *ahem* _possibly_ received material from, but just in case I did a run-down of all the symptoms of early pregnancy." Dave's face was pale. John cleared his throat as they waited for a reaction.  
"So uh, a lot of these are crossed out..." He had his poker face on, and Kanaya stared at her skirt as she smoothed it down on her lap.  
"Yes, they are..." He put the book down and turned around, Kanaya called to him. He stopped, but didn't face her. "Do not tell Karkat about this, I need to gather a bit more information before it can be confirmed. I cannot accurately confirm it if he's aware." Dave responds with a cold tone,  
“I won't tell him, but don't think I'm gonna help you. He already has enough bullshit on his plate, he doesn't need this.” With that, that knight of time exited the room.

  
Kanaya dragged her hand down her face as John retrieved the book. Rose takes that time to enter where Dave had exited. Her glance switches between the two, and she asks what happened.


	9. Chapter 9 (NSFW)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> More angst! More porn! More violence and comedy!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I marked where the smut begins for you ;)

Kanaya and John are secretly observing Karkat in the central lounge, he is lying on his stomach next to Dave on the floor a couple meters away. John has stayed quiet about it for as long as he can, he feels like he should say something!  
"He's squishing his babies." He states in a whisper. Kanaya looks at him,  
"Pardon?" He continues to watch the couple,  
"Karkat, he's laying on his babies." She snaps her attention towards Karkat in alarm,  
"Is that bad?? Should I get him to stop?" He notices the concern in her voice.  
"Uh, I don't know, maybe? Maybe not, I mean, maybe they're too small to be bothered by it?" She has a worried look on her face as she watches Karkat continue to lay on his belly while he reads his book. Dave catches them staring and squints with distaste. He taps Karkat on the shoulder, and motions for him to follow as he exits the room. Karkat looks at him quizzically, so Dave lifts his glasses to wink at him and smirk. To which Karkat flushes and calmly saunters on over to join his matesprit at the doorway. Kanaya sighs and closes her notebook as John sticks his pencil behind his ear. "Well, at least he's not squishing his babies anymore." Kanaya growls quietly and leans forward, resting her chin on her palm.  
“Dave is not going to make this easy for us, is he?" John pats her back and shakes his head,  
"Ah the life of a scientific stalker, it's a hard one!" She smacks his knee and he snorts.  
"We are not _stalking_  Karkat, we are simply observing him." He rolls his eyes,  
“Whatever helps you sleep at night, Kanaya.”

  
They share this encounter with Rose later in the day, and she admits that she’s not surprised,  
“Dave has never had the kind of emotional support that Karkat provides for him, it’s understandable that he wouldn't like to imagine him in such a stressful situation. Having children is a life-changing development for humans, there are often dangerous risks that accompany pregnancy.” John nods in agreement,  
“That, and it depends on the person when it comes to taking the news well or not. And I don't know if you guys have noticed, but Karkat’s not exactly a calm and accepting ‘go with the flow’ kind of guy. He's going to flip his lid when he finds out.” They're silent as Kanaya marks down several more symptoms.  
“I'm afraid he's going to find out either way, there's no more denying it with all of the evidence we’ve collected.”

  
**t h e s m u t**

  
Dave grins into the crook of Karkat's neck as he thrusts particularly hard into him. The small troll mewls and pants out his encouragement. Sharp claws dance along Dave's back, but they’re careful not to press too hard and break skin. Dave hovers above his boyfriend, watching him with eyes half-lidded as he utterly destroys him. He huffs, soaking in how Karkat's hair perfectly frames his face when it's damp with sweat, and how his mouth slightly hangs open when he pushes back in and he can get a peek at his canines and other not-as-sharp teeth. He loves every single detail, the way his back arches whenever he rams that one particularly sensitive soft spot deep inside of him, and how he presses his soft chest into Dave's as he nips the delicate gills along his neck or sinks his teeth into his shoulder.

  
Then he allows himself to glance down at Karkat's belly; the memory of the symptoms list comes to mind. So many of them were crossed out. He's not exactly sure how he feels about it, but a sudden wave of possessiveness overtakes him and he slips his arms underneath Karkat to hold him closer as he fucks him harder. The small troll gasps and his hold on him tightens, he makes an excited little chirrup noise, and his loud purring stutters in time with Dave's thrusts. As usual, Karkat comes first, most likely bruising his matesprit’s sides with how hard his thighs clamp down on them. Dave doesn't mind, and soon follows suit, groaning into his shoulder as he’s enveloped in the drawn out, hot, pulsing wetness that is a troll orgasm. He's a bit disappointed that Karkat’s bulge has yet to appear; it's been happening a lot more often lately, so they've already talked about it. Probably another mutant troll thing. Dave wonders if that's what Karkat was talking to Kanaya about, but dismisses this line of thought in favor of squishing his boyfriend underneath him. He kind of has gained a bit more weight, and by that he means there is a small, subtly firm bump in his abdomen that's pressing against Dave’s own. But this could just be material that hasn't been released, Dave doesn't know everything about troll anatomy, but he's got the basics down to a tee. Karkat is still purring with reckless abandon, even as he's being squished by a guy nearly twice his size. Dave sighs wistfully and presses light kisses to his soft chest, feeling the vibrations against his lips. Trolls are the greatest.  
“Karkat, dude.. I’m pretty sure I fucking love you a lot. Like, a lot a lot, and not just because you're super hot when you’re all debauched and shit, I love every single little detail that involves Karkat Vantas. Just sayin’.” He grins in triumph when the purring rises in volume again, then rests his head near the vibrations as Karkat runs his fingers through his hair. It's soothing how nice his claws feel as they skritch along his scalp.  
“..Love you too.” He can tell Karkat’s on the verge of just passing the fuck out right here, sex takes a lot outta the little guy. Dave stops smashing him in favor of rolling over so that it's reverse-ways. He pulls the blanket up over the both of them and hugs Karkat to himself like he's a body pillow. His boyfriend literally _coos_  and snuggles closer, and falls asleep within minutes, whereas Dave stays awake for a bit, just admiring the warm body pressed against him before he shuts his eyes and joins him.

  
::::::::::

  
When they wake up in the “morning”, Karkat attempts to walk to the bathroom to shower. But as soon as he stands, he finds that he can't exactly do so without his legs trembling and going weak. He tries to take a step but can’t get himself to walk properly without swaying. Normally he'd be irritated or pissed, but he is inexplicably blissed the fuck out about it. He gives up and falls back into bed with his matesprit. Dave is a bit worried that he was too rough, but Karkat reassures him that it was wonderful, and he loves him very much. He just.. may have enjoyed himself too much.

  
He subconsciously puts his hand to his belly and keeps it there, Dave asks if he's alright. He nods, removing his hand from the area before rolling over.  
“What do you think... about wrigglers? Or.. What's the word your species uses for offspring?” Dave hesitates,  
“Babies?” Karkat's eyes twinkle with interest,  
“Yes, that's the one.. If we were to become parents, do you think we’d create wrigglers, or “babies”?” He toys with the fur of the blanket he's laying on. “And would you um, be _opposed_  to raising them with me?” Wow, okay. This was happening. Dave has to make sure he chooses his words carefully; is Karkat trying to _hint_  to him that he might be pregnant? Does he somehow already know?? What if he _is??_ What are they going to do with a hybrid troll-human baby? What if it comes out horribly deformed?? Actually, that's kind of impossible since their species are nearly identical save for a couple pigment and internal/external differences. He hears the blankets shuffle beside him, “... never mind, forget I asked.” _Shit, he took too long to respond._  Karkat gets up on now only slightly trembling legs and walks towards the bathroom. Dave scrambles up to follow,  
“Wait, wait, Karkat I didn't mean it like that, babies are just.. having them is a big deal for humans; it's a lifelong job, Kat. It's not something I can just answer immediately with confidence, I...” He doesn't try to make his boyfriend look at him, Karkat doesn't make an effort to either.  
“So it wouldn't work, would it? You wouldn't be happy?” _Fuuccckk._  He sounds so _hurt._ Dave gently places his hand on a half-clothed shoulder, but doesn't push his luck by attempting to turn him around.  
“No, I didn't say that! Why are you so adamant about it? We still have to wait for your guys’ mothergrub thing to hatch, we’re not parents yet, babe… _right..?”_  His heart pounds in his chest as Karkat leans against the wall, silent with his back to him. _“..Karkat?”_  The small troll runs a hand through his hair.  
“I-I don't know, there's this _thing_  my lusus may have tried to warn me about… and it’s been fucking with me, because I've been starting to feel like it's becoming relevant?” Dave finally gives in and pulls his boyfriend into an embrace.  
“It's okay, you can tell me. I won't like, _disown_ you or anything. You'd probably have to intentionally saw off my arm with a spoon before I break up with you, dude.” He kisses his forehead and holds him close, Karkat reluctantly hugs back, resting his cheek against his chest.  
“I... my lusus said I might be able to, uh… to carry my own _offspring._ Like a mothergrub, since I'm a mutant. It's an extremely old method of reproduction, so— I didn't think I would have to _worry_ about it since we’re two completely different species, b-but…” He stops there. Dave cannot believe what he's hearing. At least he got some sort of warning? He hugs him closer,  
“Shh, I know this is the wrong quadrant for that noise or whatever but I'm human so it's okay.. also, I'm not mad. I wouldn't be mad at you for something like that, it's an honest mistake. Are you sure, though? That you're uh.. h-how can you _tell?”_  Karkat huffs,  
“Um, well.. Crabdad said that an overwhelming urge to protect them would be the best way to know since there aren't really tests for it anymore.” Dave mulls it over,  
“M’kay. It's cool, we’re cool.”  
“I’m sorry..” Dave holds him tighter and shakes his head,  
“No no no, don't say that, 's not your fault. Don't you ever think it's your fault. No one knew this could happen..” He leans down to kiss him softly. Karkat makes a sad bug noise, but returns it nonetheless.  
“... W-What are we going to do? How are we going to tell the others?” Dave huffs out a quick sigh,  
“Uh, I think.. I think they already know.” Karkat shoves him away,  
_“What!?_  How in the holy hell would they _already know??”_

  
::::::::::

  
Kanaya is sitting with John and Rose, they're trying to devise a plan for how they're going to tell Karkat without giving him a pusher-attack. Then, oh, who knew Karkat could kick locked metal doors open.  
“KANAYA YOU KNEW THIS ENTIRE FUCKING TIME DIDN'T YOU, YOU LIAR!!” Kanaya blinked in shock,  
“Knew _what_ , exactly?” Apparently this was the wrong response; now he looks even more upset.  
“YOU’VE BEEN FUCKING _OBSERVING_   _ME_ WHEN YOU SHOULD’VE JUST ASKED ME TO MY _FACE!_  BECAUSE IF YOU DID, YOU WOULD’VE FOUND OUT THAT MY LUSUS FUCKING _TOLD ME_ THAT I HAD THE ABILITY TO CREATE WRIGGLERS WITH MY OWN BODY FOR MY QUADRANTS, BUT _NO!_ I’VE BEEN STRESSING OUT ABOUT ASKING YOU TO HELP ME THIS ENTIRE TIME WHEN YOU ALREADY _FUCKING KNEW!”_ He was marching awfully quickly towards her, and John tries to grab him, but Karkat’s been sparring with _Dave_  so he easily evades him. Kanaya calmly explains that she didn't want to tell him until she knew for sure, she didn't want to say anything that might cause him to panic. Especially if it turned out to be false. He quickens his pace nonetheless, John tries to talk him out of it, and Rose quickly flips out some sort pen. But opposite to what everyone was expecting, and despite his previously livid tone, he only wraps his arms around her waist in a very tight hug.“I know, thank you..” Kanaya looks up to Dave as he exclaims at Rose. A keening whine escapes the small troll clinging to her shirt, and she scrambles to grab a hold of him as he goes limp. Her eyes go wide, and she quickly glances at Rose, who has her hand in front of her mouth.  
“Oh, whoops.” The pen she took out dispensed tranquilizer darts, one of which was now sticking into his side. “I thought he was going to attack, his intentions are quite unpredictable when he’s yelling like that.” Dave groaned in annoyance and dragged his hand down his face.  
“Since when does Karkat ever _viciously attack_  his friends like a lion that just escaped from the zoo??” Rose shrugged,  
“You’d do the same if the situation were reversed, would you not?” The knight of time was not impressed. John finally spoke up,  
“Guess we’ll have to wait until he wakes up before we can think of a game plan, huh?” Kanaya plucked the tiny dart from Karkat’s side and laid him down on the sofa behind her.  
“First, we should get it out of the way and let the others know. They’re going to eventually, and I doubt Karkat will want to be there while they find out anyway.” She looks to them for their approval, they agree, Dave somewhat reluctantly. He says that he'll stay with Karkat so that he doesn't wake up and wander off looking for them. Kanaya nods and gestures for Rose and John to follow.

  
They gather up the Mayor, Jade, Vriska, and Terezi. Out of all their reactions, Vriska’s was probably the most disturbed. She looked uncharacteristically mortified, asking if there was a way that they could somehow remove them. Kanaya’s pupils constricted in disgust and disbelief.  
“No, there is no way to “remove” them without injuring him severely or killing him.” Vriska didn't seem to be listening, and Terezi wasn't much help, she looked horribly disturbed as well.  
“That is _not_ what I expected those changes in his natural scent to be… Like, _at_ _all.”_  
“Maybe we can like, find a way to.. I-I don't know, cut him open?? And scoop the little _parasites_ out… then sew him back up again?? Or maybe we could.. _squeeze_ him really hard, or like, remove his chamber _altogether??_  Drones do that to muties sometimes, that should work, right??? _Look. Guys._ We can't just sit here and do nothing while he hosts a bunch of hybrid-human-troll parasites!! If you guys don't do something about it, I _will.”_ Kanaya scowled at her in disappointment, then froze when she looked to the doorway behind the ceruleanblood. Everyone else followed her gaze to find Karkat backing out of the room while clutching the fabric covering his abdomen. He looked so _small,_  and _terribly_ frightened. Kanaya could barely get his name out before he started running. Vriska cursed and followed everyone as they ran after him. John called out to him and tried to explain that she wasn't serious, that they're not going to hurt him! It was too late, there came a hall that lead several different directions. They split up, but no one went with Vriska as she chose the second to last. Which is too bad, that happened to be the path he took.

  
She called out to him, yelling that she was sorry, she's not _really_ going to do that to him, he should _know_  that! She tries to take over his mind, but forgets that _shit,_ he's part sea dweller, that's not gonna work. She groans in exasperation, and silently admits to herself that he totally has a reason to believe her judging by what she did in the game. She stops at the same time he does at the other end of the hall. Something is moving in the shadows, and _holy shit_. The carapace soldier with a scratch on its face really _does_ exist. _And it’s right in front of Karkat._ He took a step back when she yelled for him to run, but the beast easily tripped him in his shock, then took off with him in tow.

  
:::::::::::

  
She chases the creature down a second hall, it's dragging a terrified and infuriated Karkat.  
"GET BACK HERE YOU STUPID OVER-SIZED CHESS PIECE!" She angrily demands, rounding another corner after it. She's starting to feel herself getting tired, it’s too fast. Karkat is kicking and squirming to get out of its grasp; but the beast just throws him over its shoulder. If only she could concentrate enough to take over its mind, but Karkat needs help, and he needs help because of _her,_  she scared him into running, and of course he would run! With his new “mommy” instincts, he has no choice in whether or not he should run. Just one sense of danger and he's gone, that's what Kanaya said earlier in the lab. Then, like an idiot, Vriska went and haphazardly started listing ways to fucking eviscerate him, or crush what in his mind were his innocent unborn wrigglers. _Augghhhh_ this is all her fault, she wants to _scream_. The beast stops at the other end of the hall, there seems to be a hole in the ceiling leading to the floor above. It reaches up and rips a chunk of metal away from the outside, _it's making it bigger._

  
Karkat curses in a panicked voice and she begins to sprint toward him. _Goddamn it, goddamn it, goddamn it,_ stupid mind control powers! _Work!_  She's exhausted, and trying to summon the strength to use her psychic abilities only drains her energy even more. The beast hooks a giant clawed hand in the hole, then hoists itself up to hang on the edge. Now Karkat is upside down, hissing and clawing angrily at the beasts chitin shoulder and back-armor. It's not doing much. _Fuck!_  She can't let it take him, he's fucking _pregnant,_  what the _hell_  does that thing even _want_  from him??... Why the _hell_ is this hall so _long??_  Probably because her pace has slowed significantly, she's been running for awhile; for his size and condition, Karkat's surprisingly fast. She trips on _absolutely_   _nothing_ and falls to her knees, struggling to get back up. She looks up at the same time Karkat notices her,  
"Vriska?" She tries hard to will herself back to her feet, but she's well past her limit. She hasn't exactly been practicing her sprinting skills while she's been on this meteor, she's way out of practice. Karkat swears and calls out to her, but the sound of claws scraping against metal drown out his voice. Exhaustion starts to take over and she watches in horror as he's swept into the darkness of the floor above. The last thing she hears him say is to " _fucking stay put_ ". She curses and growls loudly in angered frustration, slamming her robotic fist into the floor. It creates a small dent. Her arms slowly begin to give now that the adrenaline has subsided, she's still trying to catch her breath, light cerulean tears threaten to stream down her face. She wonders if this was how Karkat felt when Eridan killed Feferi, Kanaya, and almost Sollux right in front of him. Probably, but he didn't have to worry about rescuing the guy whose well-being and survival determined the fate of his species' future from a giant, surprisingly fast, hard-shelled chess predator. (He totally downplayed the size of that thing, it's not taller than Gamzee, but the amount of weight it carries makes her wonder how he managed to get out of that first fight alive.) She messages the others about what just went down, and doesn't wait for them to respond before she turns on her locating signal and promptly passes out.


	10. Chapter 10 (NSFW)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Karkat is a good mommy, and Dave is growing tired of shit always trying to kill his boyfriend. (It's almost as if Karkat's CURSED or something...) :3

The beast practically tosses Karkat into the corner of a really small and dusty room. He hisses at it on instinct, it rattles back and turns away into the main room. Karkat is in a fucking cell. It threw him into a fucking animal cell. It doesn't even close the door, which is a stupid move because adrenaline is pumping through his system at an alarming rate. So he of course, impulsively springs back to his feet and rams into it from behind to knock it down with his weight. It works for the most part, but he ends up having to put it in a headlock. It's hard keeping a hold of it when he only has one good arm. He growls when it reaches back to grab him by the shirt and yank him off. His back stings when he falls flat on the ground where it drops him. He groans and attempts to cover his belly, it's giving him that unnerving look again. Damn it, he just keeps fucking these fights up.

  
Within seconds his arms are being pinned up away from his body. He screams in protest, squirming in vain to escape.  
“No!! Not _this_ bullshit again! Keep your torso-attachments to _yourself_ you brain-damaged hell accessory!!! Leh-Let me go..?” he trails off when it places its clawed foot on his abdomen again. Then it begins pressing down. “ _Ah!_ Nonono– stop!! Don't! Don't hurt them! _Stop!!”_ he's close to hyperventilating, it keeps pressing down, it's starting to _hurt_. “Ahh.. _f-fuck._ S-Stop..? I...I-I–!! Hmnn..” he lets his head fall back as his thinkpan melts into warm fuzziness. An overwhelming amount of pure solid red envelopes his vision. He whimpers and surrenders to the burning sensation in his blood pusher...

  
Then he's standing in the middle of the room, chest heaving. His hands hurt, as well as his.. well, _everything_ if he's being honest. He slowly brings his fronds up to inspect them and immediately regrets it. They're covered in red, a red that is disconcertingly close to his and the humans’ red. He flicks his gaze to the rest of the room and nearly chokes on his gasp as he takes in the bloodied carapacian corpse at his feet.  
“Oh f-fuck, okay, okay.” Hesitantly, he looks down at himself to lift his shirt, only revealing a few shallow pinpricks from its claws. He’s both relieved and enraged, _the bastard was trying to take his wrigglers._ He lets his shirt fall back over the slight swell and patted the fabric down. His hand lingers there as he tries to recall everything that just happened. He can't remember, it was as if he lost total control over his body, like his fear sizzled up and was replaced with.. with… _rage._

  
Oh, fuck. That was a bloodrage. _Shit,_ he needs his moirail. His thinkpan tells him that no, he doesn't need his moirail, but he knows better. Because his thinkpan also wants him to kill everyone who aren't apart of his beloved red quad-mates. He's too calm about the idea, too accepting. That's why he needs to find Gamzee, and fast. His grip on control is already starting to slip. He makes his way out of the room and into the hall, leaving behind the nightmarish scene he subconsciously created. He's sure to make a mental note that fear can easily turn into a bloodrage if his grubs are in danger. These hormones, he needs to be careful. Someone could get hurt, and he has a feeling it wouldn't be him.

  
:::::::::::::

  
When John finishes reading Vriska’s message, his first thought is to break the ceiling above him and storm the hell out of the murder-clown’s floor. Dave read the message with him, so he doesn't look too good. He said he left to use the bathroom for a few minutes, and when he got back to the room, Karkat was nowhere to be found. It was only when he saw everyone running and calling out to his boyfriend that he realized what was going on.

  
John patted his shoulder sympathetically, then got a good grip on Zillyhoo before swinging her up, and using his windy powers, ramming straight through the steel and rock. It left a big enough hole for him and Dave to get through. He coaxed the knight to fly up with him and watched him regain himself as he scanned the familiar area. While he does that, John grabs a nearby piece of heavy equipment and drags it over the hole, they don't want anymore surprise visitors.

  
He idly wonders if they'll find Gamzee around here this time. He was never in the areas they searched while looking for the same carapace they're looking for now. Dave’s taken out his handheld, beginning to head toward Vriska’s signal origin. If they can find the hole, they'll have more of a chance at finding Karkat.

  
Geez, John can't imagine what it must be like for the little guy right now. First he gets brutally attacked by a corrupt carapacian soldier. Then he finds out that the reason why he's been feeling so shitty is because he accidentally got impregnated by his alien boyfriend. Then after _that_ he got shot with a dart when he really just wanted to hug Kanaya not attack her. (That was actually kind of hilarious) And now he's probably back to the first thing on the list because Vriska went a bit too far with being horrified.

  
He honestly didn't think _she_ of all people would freak out that badly. He thought she'd just get mad at the two culprits and scold them for being lewd enough to allow themselves to submit to such a “pathetic squishy species”(Karkat) and to “inject other people with their own bodily fluids”(Dave). Eugh, spot on. But she didn't even look mad, just.. pale, and extremely disturbed. Even Terezi looked like she just caught a whiff of someone slowly ripping off their own fingernail. Why didn't Kanaya react that way?? Probably because she kind of already knew it was a thing.. Oh man, what's _Gamzee_ going to do!? John shuddered as he followed Dave further into the darkness. Frankly, he doesn't want to know how that huge ticking time-bomb is going to take the news of his beloved cuddle-buddy becoming the host of multiple interspecies love-children. If it's anything like Vriska and Terezi’s reactions, he'd prefer to be 50 feet away and equipped with Zillyhoo.

  
He's dragged out of his thoughts when he and Dave hear some kind of shuffling noise. It's coming from up ahead, but Dave’s flashlight doesn't reach that far. Then the shuffling stops. The two humans exchange glances, catching each other's startled expressions when a familiar voice echoes through the hall,  
“... Dave..?” Holy _shit._ It's definitely Karkat, but John grabs Dave’s arm before he can go sprinting toward him.  
“Wait..” He whispers; because something doesn't feel right.. The shuffling starts up again, and they keep the flashlight pointed in the troll’s direction. When he finally comes into view, Dave nearly drops it. John’s brow creases with worry, this was the opposite of what he wanted to find.

  
Blood spattered Karkat’s clothes, and he looked a bit worse-for-wear.. His hair was more wild than usual, and parts of his sweater and leggings have been torn into by something sharp. His arms trembled where they were wrapped around his torso in a pseudo-hug. His breathing also seemed off, John idly wonders where the corrupted soldier is. When Dave carefully calls to him, Karkat shakes his head feverishly.  
“S-Stay back, _please_ stay back.” Pink tears fall from his creepily red-orange colored eyes. Oh shit, didn't that mean something bad?? John thought they only had to worry about _Gamzee_ doing that! Dave continued to advance, but before he could get too close, a bone-chillingly low and sinister voice sounded behind them.  
“I wouldn't do that if I were you, time-bro.. You may be his red quadrant, but there's only so much a matesprit can do. Motherfucker needs _me_ to step in.” John can't stop his heart from pounding. _How long had he been there??_ This is probably how Kanaya felt when he snuck up on her. Oh how the turntables. (Heheh.) Gamzee sauntered past, but slowed his pace significantly as he got closer. He came to a stop, seeming to barely realize Karkat’s unnerving state. “Aw _fuck_ , palemate..” Karkat twitched, but otherwise stood very still. Gamzee crouched, offering one of his hands cautiously. Karkat whines and shakes even more before growling and taking a step forward. Gamzee whispers soft shooshes and encouraging words. Karkat’s growling becomes louder as he grows nearer.

  
It feels as though the closer he gets, the more his thinkpan tries to take over, but his will’s too strong to let it overtake him again. Though the way he suddenly freezes may indicate otherwise. Gamzee launches forward, catching his moirail in a strong, debilitating embrace. Karkat grunts softly on impact, he didn't see that coming _at all._ It was brilliant. His thinkpan was absolutely livid at this turn of events, but he can feel it begin to diminish as he sank into the familiar pacifying scent of his diamond. He shuddered, focusing on the rough shooshes being whispered between his horns. The red in his eyes bled away slowly, leaving his usual yellow sclera to glow softly in the darkness.  
“Gamzee..” he breathed, pretty sure he was getting blood all over his moirail and not liking that thought one bit. “You can put me down now.” The highblood refused,  
“Don't got a good reason to, so _no_ motherfucker, I _can't.”_  He turns to John and Dave, “Lead the way, most righteous of god-bros.” John takes the lead, following the tracker to Vriska’s location.

  
Sure enough, there is a gigantic hole in the tile that leads into the floor below. John grimaces as he leans to look into it. Rose pops into view, effectively scaring him enough to send him tumbling through. Luckily, he caught himself before he hit the ground, turning to glare at her as she smiled mock-sweetly.  
“Whoops, my apologies John. I didn't know you were up there.” Her grin is smug and he just wishes he could smack a giant ass buttercream-iced cake in her face _right now._ She hates buttercream icing. Her grin disappears however, when she's startled by Gamzee landing solidly beside him. Shit, he even scared John/ and John saw it coming! Apparently the clown handed his moirail over to Dave, who was more likely to provide a much softer landing. So down he came, cradling an exhausted and pouty troll close to his chest.

  
Rose could tell Karkat didn't want to talk about it, so she didn't ask. He was secretly grateful for that. Besides, there’d be plenty of time to explain once they regroup with the others. Terezi had taken Vriska back to the central lounge, where everyone planned on meeting up once someone sent a message saying that they found him. John was quick to send said message as soon as he remembered. Relieved responses filled the chat log, it implies that they should probably head back now.

  
::::::::::::::

  
Karkat did _not_ want to talk about why he left in the first place, he refused to answer every time someone asked, so Dave ushered him away so that they'd stop.

  
Gamzee apparently came across the room he was kept in while he was strolling through the halls. There was a semblance of joy in his tone as he described in vivid detail what he saw. Out of everything, the soldier’s head being seemingly twisted off seemed to stick out the most. It's silent for a few minutes. Vriska argues that it was much bigger than Karkat, how could he have possibly killed it on his own? It holds no logical evidence, the only way a troll his size would be able to inflict that kind of damage to an opponent _that_ size is if they completely lost it… Then, she, Kanaya, and Terezi froze. It seems they've found an answer no one really wants to believe.

  
Vriska whispers for no reason in particular, “That doesn't make any sense; Karkat is probably the most disgustingly passive troll I've ever had the misfortune to allow my good eye to linger over. He got _stabbed_ by Jack Noir and forgave him right away, like??? It wouldn't make sense!” Terezi nods in agreement,  
“He literally shooshed everyone calm when we all lost our shit and started killing each other. He never loses his shit! Well, not in a murderous way at least..” Kanaya presses her mouth into a line.  
“I'm afraid we’re forgetting some vital information here. We recently discovered that he might be part, if not all, sea dweller; quite possibly the _highest_ on the spectrum. Taking that into account, he wouldn't be able to easily fight off those instincts while his new maternal instincts wish to overtake him as well. It just goes to show what he's capable of when it comes to the safety of his eggs.” She lowers her voice, leaning in towards the others as she continues. “While I examined him, I noticed there were 2cm wide lesions on his upper abdomen near his rib cage. It's likely that the beast attempted to disembowel him once again, and the moment it broke skin is when he lost the internal fight and snapped.” It's becoming clear how careful they have to be in order for this to work out. He was already under a huge amount of stress, being frightened to the point of submitting to a bloodrage is the opposite of what he needs. Ever.

  
**m o r e  s m u t... : >**

  
Dave is standing in his room, bandaging the cuts that Karkat will allow him to as he sits in front of the human on the counter. Dave asks if the ones he’s patched up so far were the only ones that bled. Karkat hesitated, but lowered his gaze as he lifted his shirt to reveal the perforations in his skin where the carapace tried to claw into his belly. Dave frowned, eyebrows drawing together in concern. Karkat swallowed hard, peeking up at his matesprit through his overgrown bangs. Their eyes met for a few seconds before Dave pulled him into a tight embrace. Karkat was a bit surprised, but found it easy to relax into it. He brought up his hands and smoothed his fingertips along his human matesprit’s spine. Dave had his face buried in the crook of his neck, so he began to press light, chaste kisses there.  
“I'm sorry I wasn't there to protect you, I never should have left.”  
Karkat mumbled his response, growing a bit distracted by his boyfriend’s actions.  
“You couldn't have known.”  
Dave slowly pushed his hips between his thighs to hold him closer, he _needed_ to be closer.  
“I left you alone..”  
“You went to take a piss, that's a completely valid reason, Dave.”  
“I don't think I'd be able to live with myself if you died because of some stupid mistake I made. And you have our _babies..”_ Karkat pulled away, grabbing the human’s face to kiss him long and hard. Dave pressed into him even more, until he was flush against him. His boyfriend snaked his arms around his neck and allowed him to grind his hips against his.

  
Karkat hummed against his lips as warmth bloomed between his legs. Wow, this is getting really hot, _really fast._ Not that he’s complaining, he’s surprisingly and inexplicably _very_ horny all of the sudden. He’s noticed how often that's been happening lately. He wonders if it's due to his pregnancy. But why would he need to pail so much if he was already pregnant? It didn't make sense, the need to pail should have disappeared with his body’s recognition of foreign material. He seems to have wrapped his legs around his matesprit’s waist while he went on that mental tirade. He feels like his heat isn't over, but he doesn't have that empty feeling or unbearable pain anymore. He shamelessly canted his hips so that when the human finally ground into him, he couldn't help the needy moan that escaped his throat. He had to pull away from their little makeout session so that he could catch his breath. Dave clearly didn't want to stop, so he resolved to go for his throat again.

  
Karkat nearly choked on a gasp as he’s caught off guard by Dave’s erection pressing right up against the sensitive outer flesh of his nook. He rocked against him, earning a low grateful groan from his boyfriend. Dave panted into the crook of his neck before dropping his forehead against his shoulder. Karkat laughed softly,  
“Y’know what'd be better than frotting like horny wrigglers?”  
Dave grinned and hummed into his shoulder, “Mnn, frotting like horny teenagers with no clothes on..”  
Karkat snorted, “Technically t-that's called pailing, you puerile smartass. But yes, that’s essentially what I was going for.” He couldn't help the rise of volume in his purr as Dave pressed a fond kiss to his horn.

  
They stubbornly didn't separate, sloppily pushing and pulling at each other’s waistbands while giggling like depraved libertines. Dave yanked Karkat's ripped leggings off and allowed the smaller boy to shove this jeans down past his ass as he whipped off his shirt. Karkat yanked him back down to claim his mouth once again, which Dave allowed, shoving his boxers down to join his half-ass removed jeans. Oh well, they don't _need_ to be all the way off. This reasoning becomes more justified when Karkat does that weird chirping noise that means he _really_ _wants_ _it_. He's not usually this excited about sex, or shameless, for that matter. If anything, most of the time he's 200% embarrassed and ashamed of his libido.

  
But there are times, like right now, that he becomes more confident. And _goddamn_ does Dave love it when he's confident. He gets this serene look on his face as his pupils go all wide, and the combination of the bright red with the striking yellow of his sclera makes his eyes look beautiful and otherworldly. It's unbelievably sexy, especially when his lips have that subtle tint of red that appears after they spend a good amount of time making out. Oh god, he’s going to blow his load too soon if this shit doesn't speed up holy fuck. Apparently Karkat is with him on that, so he lines himself up and begins to carefully push into him. He quickly learned after the first few times that Karkat doesn't really like being “prepared” before penetration. He finds the act of fingering beforehand weird and says that it kinda ruins the sensation for him. Not that Dave minds.. he just doesn't like the thought of hurting him during sex.

  
Karkat mewls his name as he impatiently pulls him flush against him. He never lasts very long when he does this, especially not with the unforgiving size of a human bulge hitting all the right places at the same time. Shuddering and mouth falling open, he wraps his legs around the humans slim waist again to hold him there while the walls of his nook desperately try to milk him for all he's worth. Dave lets out the most pathetically sexy moan he's ever heard and comes inside of him, continuing to grind their hips together as he rides out his orgasm. Karkat is absolutely smashed, he trills long and amorous, apparently having developed a kink for being used as a bucket. Dave huffs out a laugh as he pants above him, he's practically lying on top of him. Karkat doesn't mind, he likes his warmth and alien tendency to cuddle. And he's content this way, that is, until Dave starts to actually put his weight on him, then he groans half-heartedly in protest. He attempts to shove him off, but his arms feel like gelatin. Curse you, post-orgasmic hyper-relaxation. Karkat decides to try his hand in negotiation, attempting to use his words to coax his sleepy matesprit off.  
_“Dave.. mooove…"_ he emphasizes this with a weak nudge. Dave pushes his sweater up and mumbles “no” against one of his rumblespheres, turning his head to press lazy kisses to his chest. Karkat paws at his shoulders, whining petulantly and ineffectively squirming. “You're going to turn our progeny into grub sauce, you barbarian! Get off!” Dave refuses again. Karkat has run out of ideas, and now this is actually becoming a problem. The pressure doesn't feel very good anymore; Dave is getting _way_ too comfy, he's actually laying on him now. Well, guess this is how Karkat Vantas dies, squashed by his matesprit in a post-coital haze. This usually doesn't cause any problems since trolls are more dense than humans. He actually liked when Dave would ineffectively try and smash him with his less-dense human body. But now he has grubs.. and they do _not_ like to be squished. _“Ah, Dave, I'm serious, get off; it’s starting to hurt…_ ” That seems to get the human’s attention,  
“Mn–fuck, sorry.” Karkat sighs as the pressure disappears while Dave makes his way down his body. He pouts warily as he watches his matesprit kiss the subtle curve of his abdomen. “Sorry babies..” he slurs, Karkat rolls his eyes and plucks his sunglasses from his face. Dave doesn't really react, he just blinks up at him. “There are multiple, right?” The question seems to catch Karkat off guard, he flushes and nods, dare he say, _demurely_.  
“Y-Yeah, there are…” Dave nods back curtly, pulling out the bandages again to continue their previous activities. Only, with a more debauched air about them.


	11. Chapter 11 (NSFW)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I'm p sure a majority of these future chapters will have (NSFW) slapped onto their names, because I wrote 8 whole chapters with no smut straight. I can't hold back any longer, I must be gross. :3

**Karkat POV**

You sit back as your matesprit diligently re-casts your broken arm, he says you agitated it quite a bit when you went “apeshit”, so it should be fully healed in about another perigee or so. You groan in exasperation, frowning and resting your chin in your palm. He leans over and pecks you on the lips, then continues his business. You still have his shades, they rest on top of your head in front of your horns. You have half a mind of pulling them down onto your face to hide the blasphemous color of the swill collecting in your cheeks.

You've been stealing them a lot more often lately, and you're not sure why. Maybe since it's easier to read him without them, even though you’ve gotten quite good at reading him with them on. Spending three years on a flying rock with the same person for a majority of the time can have such an effect. So unfortunately, the same is true for him and your endless supply of enraged prattle. He can read you like a book, and frankly it makes you uncomfortable, not even Gamzee can do that. Dave sees straight through your defenses, _all_ of your defenses.. So he can probably sense that you're bothered by something right now; he just won't bring it up until you do first. You like how he's considerate like that, it makes your chest ache just thinking about how much you love this human. Not pity, _love._ Apparently he catches you staring, because a pretty blush spreads across his cheeks and the tips of his ears.  
“Oh my god dude, quit it. You look like a cat when you do that, I feel like you want to eat me or something, jesus.” He's probably referring to the dilation of your pupils, he always gets flustered over it. As well as whenever you initiate lewd behavior in a public setting even though no one’s around.

You haven't done so in awhile, you should definitely fix that. Next secret mission: Attempt to pail your matesprit in one of the less popular lounges. You smile to yourself as he sheepishly returns his attention back to what he was doing. You don't care if you're pregnant, you're still gonna do whatever the fuck you want. If you want to fuck your matesprit stupid in public domain, you're damn well gonna do that.

No shame. You have no shame, and it's quite liberating. You're not even wearing pants right now, you're just hanging out in one of his t-shirts ‘cause all your stretchy pants are in the electronic launderer. His shirts are long enough on you that you're not flashing your “chonies” (Dave tends to switch between English and "Spanish" during casual conversations.) to any poor sap who happens to wander in.

… You’ve run out of things to think about, so now you're bored, and you have a low tolerance for boredom nowadays. But it's not like you can do anything about it at the moment. Dave had to redo your cast since you decided to fight a gigantic carapacian monster again, so you kind of owe it to him to stay still. You only agreed to keep that one arm still though, so you use your other one to idly groom yourself, it’s habitual. That's usually your default when you're hanging out alone with him. Just like his is to hum, or snuggle up close to you, or just plain smother you with his wonderful cuddly warm human love. Goddamnit you're doing it again, you should really stop thinking about it that much, it's making it harder for you to sit still. You don't know what's been up with you lately, you're sure Dave's also noticed that you've gotten much more.. er _affectionate_. Yeah, let’s call it that. (If wanting your matesprit to pail you senseless every five minutes is considered only being affectionate.) You should probably ask Kanaya about it. Preferably when she's alone; you know Rose didn't mean it, but the last time you tried to be semi-chummy with Kanaya in her presence she shot you with a tranquilizer dart. In your mind it's probable cause, you're completely justified in avoiding her.

Ugh, now you're tired, that's another thing, you're tired _all the fucking time_. It's probably for the best since you don't really sleep much in the first place, but still. You like your unhealthy habits, and you _don't_ like how these new instincts are completely throwing your daily dose of fucking yourself over– out the window.

You huff and rest your head on your free arm, making yourself a bit more comfortable.

**::::::::::::Dave POV**

Once you finish Karkat's cast, you clap your hands together and tell him. He doesn't respond. You nudge him a bit, but that doesn't do much either, so you slide out of your seat to try and get a look at his face. Oh, okay. He's sleeping. At the table. Honestly this doesn't surprise you, this isn't the first time he's fallen asleep in a somewhat peculiar place. He's passed out while watching you attempt to play troll video-games, while tending to can town, while helping you make mix tapes, just a variety of things over these past few weeks. It'd be more annoying if it wasn't so endearing, he's disgustingly adorable, and it’s ruining you. You're supposed to be stoic, a dashing example of unpredictability and nonchalance. Karkat’s almost completely destroyed that whole image for you, you can't help but turn into a complete sap whenever you're around him. Though.. you kind of like being able to relax around someone.. To not have to hide under a mask all the time; you didn't even like that mask. It got in the way of your becoming friends with him the first year around.

You often wonder if your relationship would be closer than it is now if you had just talked to him like he was more than some grouchy troll who didn't sleep, hid in corners, and wandered the halls for hours on end for no apparent reason. You didn't know that there actually were reasons for those habits. He didn't tell you personally, but you were able to put the pieces together from the things he _did_ tell you. He didn't sleep because his species is plagued by horrible nightmares, and he doesn't have the sopor stuff that used to block out the whispering of “horrorterrors”. The hiding in corners thing was mostly for a sense of security; no one behind him, he can see everything else in the room, even if it's dark and empty… His reasons for wandering through the halls freak you out the most, though. He said even though he knows they're gone, and he'd be more likely to find their remains strewn up in different rooms like morbid decorations, he often finds himself looking for his friends. His _dead_ friends. That, or he'd be looking for his (at the time) ex-moirail, even though he was mentally unstable and murderous. And even if he’d nearly kill him sometimes whenever he found him.

You didn't really think about why he did those things before you started hanging out, you guess you just really didn't want to put two and two together. It was always a lingering thought to hang out with him since the two of you were kind of the only ones who didn't have a constant friend. You mean, he did have Gamzee, and you did have the Mayor, but those relationships weren’t very strong at the time. Especially not his relationship with Gamzee, yeesh. Though now that you think about it, your relationships outside of the one you had together actually began to stabilize a bit more the more you hung out. He was able to sort all his shit out with Gamzee, and you and the mayor established a hella tight bond over being the protectors of can town.

You allow yourself to smile as you brush thick soft hair out of his face. It doesn't do much, it just falls right back to where it was. As a change of subject, you were surprised to find that he had no idea what conditioner was before you started sharing each other's showers. Trolls only have one kind of hair-soap. He uses a weird brand called “Grub Scrub”, you bet it's made out of dead troll-babies. He actually smacks your arm whenever you say that alternian products with the word "grub" in them automatically suggest that they contain blended babies since that's what they _call_ their babies. It's a recurring inside joke between the two of you, you bring it up as often as you can, and it drives him nuts, he practically screeches in annoyance every time you say it. It's so great.

Oh shit he's waking up. Probably because you’ve been paying special attention to his horns while petting him. Definitely not on purpose or anything though, you can _totally_ refrain from touching him for more than five minutes. Totally.

“Just because looking at your face makes me look like one does not mean I'm a cat, and consequently something you can fondle while asleep.” He doesn't move away despite this statement. He just buries his face in the crook of his elbow again. So you continue to massage near the bases, and he starts softly purring as you retaliate.  
“Umm, yeah but see, you're my _matesprit_. So I think it's fair that I get to fondle you at least a little bit while you sleep.” He snorts at this, but this time, he nudges his horn into your hand.  
“Yeah sure, you're just lucky I like it. Other trolls might find it offensive.” You tilt his head up to face you and cup the sides of his face in your palms.  
“Hmn, but you're not _like_ other trolls, _are_ you?” He seems interested in this line of action when you kiss him slow and lazily.  
“Oh, don't even get me started on how ' _not like other trolls_ ' I can be.” You smirk against his mouth, but let it fall when he pulls away and crawls up over the small table to sit right in front of you. “The differences are quite drastic.” Oh, so this is one of _those_ days.

**Even M O R E smut:**

Your smirk returns full force and you encircle his waist in your arms, pulling him forward a bit.  
“I _like_ your differences..” You croon, leaning in to kiss his baby bump. He purrs louder and runs his claws carefully through your hair.  
“Is that so?” He asks, face going a bit pink as you push him back to kiss lower.  _Now you’ve got him_.  
“Mhm, you wanna know what I _also_ like?” You stand to tower over him and lean down to cage him in with your arms. He chirrs and lays back on the table, pupils blown wide and following your every move. You lower your voice and kiss his neck. “ _I like your adorable alien noises..._ ” You lightly drag your teeth over his jugular, “ _I like how hot and bothered you get when you read your dirty romance novels to me.._ ” he hums as you gently nip the area. You can feel him try to squeeze his thighs together, but your hips are in the way. You kiss the reddened skin where you bit and continue to move your mouth up his neck as your hands move down his body. ” _I like the cute look you get while you fuck yourself on my cock._ ” You grin against his jaw when he curses to himself. He's starting to fidget, ” _But most of all, I love how loud you scream whenever I fuck you myself.._ ” you punctuate this by slipping your hand between his legs and palming his bulge, he does that cute startled mewl and squirms underneath you. Then _the fucking door opens._  
“Hey Dave, by any chance do you happen to have some extra—” It's Jade. She raises her eyebrows at your compromising position.

Karkat is wearing your shirt, and your shades. You are lacking both of these things. And he has no pants on. You're honestly kind of proud at how hot you both must look right now, but Karkat squeaks and pulls the hem of your shirt down to cover himself. So naturally, you remove your hand from his crotch, shifting awkwardly and putting on a blank face,  
“E-Extra what?” Shit, your face is burning, she leans on the doorframe, looking unimpressed even though her face is also turning a bit pink.  
“I was wondering if you had any extra duct tape, we’re taping Terezi to the wall.” Your brow furrows, but Karkat’s quicker than you.  
“Why don't you just fucking alchemize more, dumbass??” She puts her hands on her hips,  
“Because John wiped all the names of the buttons off so I don't know which is which now, shithead!” Karkat scowls,  
” _Fucking Egbert_. Ugh, okay, so you know the yellow rectangular one in between the blue and red?” Jesus Christ are they really doing this right now. She nods, interrupting him briefly.  
“Yeah, I know what that one does, it’s the others I don't know.” Karkat rolls onto his belly. You on the other hand are still leaning over him with an irritated expression. You were on a goddamn roll, you don't think you've turned Karkat on that much in any of your lives, alternate timeline or otherwise, fuck you Jade.  
“Well I was just getting to that, if you'd shut your face-gash and fucking listen!” She huffed impatiently and crossed her arms. You forgot how comfortable they are around each other. Too comfortable. It's as if they're gal-pals, it's fucking weird. Especially since he used to have a crush on her, and she used to date a bird-version of you, then she admitted once that Karkat was actually really cute in person despite his vulgarity. Y’know, the usual subtle Karkat crush everyone seems to have… Well, everyone except Rose since she’s a hardcore representative of the newfound raging lesbianism club.

The point is, you're trying to have sexy times with your hot alien boyfriend, and Jade is really killing the mood with her duct tape dilemma.

By the time she finally leaves, Karkat’s visibly agitated, seemingly on the same page as you. He turns back around to face you, but just flops back down as he heaves an exasperated sigh and drags a hand down his face. You lean over him once again to kiss his forehead,  
“You still in the mood?” His hand comes off of his face and rests on the nape of your neck.  
“Fuck. Yes.”

**::::::::::::::3RD PRSN OMNI**

Jade hands Vriska another roll of tape. So far, they’ve covered Terezi’s entire torso and half of a leg. It's taken 50 rolls of tape because Vriska never uses the same length twice in a row, and doesn't even consider using a number that doesn't have an eight in it. She also applies eight layers. Kanaya sits between Jade and Rose. So quietly, Jade asks if she could help her understand something. Kanaya agrees, asking what it is that she needs help understanding. Jade clears her throat,  
“I was wondering.. aren't trolls’ nooks _small?_ I think I saw one of your textbooks mention that the entrance to the nook, as well as the chamber, are only fit to accommodate specific sizes of reproductive organs. I’m not sure if you knew, but a human male’s “equipment” is pretty much the exact opposite of flexible and soft like troll bulges.” Kanaya looks contemplative.  
“Yes, well, you're right about trolls nowadays having limited space ‘down there’, but you must consider that Karkat’s entire internal system is centuries old. An evolutionary throwback, if you will. His body is built for widespread breeding across the hemospectrum. So the more his body matures, the more he will be able to _handle_ if you know what I mean.” Jade nods. “There is still cause for concern though, now that I think about it. Karkat is still maturing physically, so depending on Dave's ‘size’, he may have had a bit of trouble since Dave would have had to breach his chamber entrance along with his chastity seal. But.. there’s also the possibility.. that he may have had a lot of _practice?”_ Kanaya looks uncomfortable with that statement. Jade clicks her tongue and shakes her head disappointedly.  
“Oh yeah, I can see that being a thing. They're like rabbits, I actually walked in on them building up to it earlier. And it really doesn't help that they're both boys. Boys tend to turn into animals when it comes to sex.” Kanaya nods in agreement.  
“That is another thing our planets have in common, only, our species’ dominant gender is female. So the boys tend to _yield_ or _tempt_ enthusiastically rather than chase. It's quite an efficient system in my opinion. Males are more durable, so they were ideal for carrying eggs when manual reproduction was the norm.” Jade raises her eyebrows.  
“Wow, I actually hadn't thought about it like that, no wonder your species lasted for so long before the mothergrub.”  
“Yes, if only infertility hadn't grown so popular. It was considered a trait of dominance and generosity. To give and never receive.” For some reason, that really bothered Jade. They threw their entire species under the bus for a _social trend??_ Did they not see what it was doing??  
“Wait, how in the world did _all_ of the mothertrolls die out? Couldn't they have kept the trait going from whoever was left??” Kanaya shrugs,  
“Well, mothertrolls eventually became enslaved to nobels, specifically subjugglators, for their unique ability and overall rarity. Unfortunately, very few trolls knew how to properly care for pregnant trolls by then, so they were often chained up, isolated, or dragged around on leashes. This inevitably caused them to fall into severe depression that often resulted in death via suicide. Oh, there was also a time when mothertrolls began to drop like flies because of a myth that said only the most honorable of trolls could sire clutches conceived with pitchrom material. But in reality, the cells in pitchrom material were too aggressive when it came to fertilizing eggs. So every time someone would try, it would immediately cause the mothertroll to miscarry the entire clutch due to the horrible mutations caused by over-fertilization. Eventually after miscarrying countless clutches, a mothertroll would die as the huge amount of repetitive stress put on their body caused them to basically self-destruct.” She said it all so matter-of-factly.

Jade was pretty sure her face clearly expressed how horrified she was to hear how badly trolls fucked up. _They wiped every trace of the ability to produce eggs from their genetic lineage._ The only form of fertility that survived was the material they provided to fertilize eggs. Eggs that they could no longer produce on their own.

Wow, it's like, a one in a million chance that Karkat turned out to have the exact mutation that allowed him to sport evolutionary throwbacks. And it's like winning the fucking _Powerball_ that he just so happened to be able to successfully produce and evacuate eggs too. Kanaya must be on cloud 9 with all of these extremely convenient coincidences popping up. They can probably bring back the mothertroll trait so that they won't need to rely on the mothergrub for as long! That is, if they can keep Karkat out from trouble for the next five months, since he seems to be a magnet for it. He's definitely proven that he's capable of defending himself when it comes to his grubs being in immediate danger, but that doesn't stop him from getting caught in the line of fire. He's just frustratingly reckless and impulsive when it comes to protecting others. Stupid knights.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I like the idea of Dave knowing Spanish, and Karkat will never understand why humans couldn't just stick to one language. Earth didn't get as far as Alternia, Karkat! Cut 'em some slack!  
> (Thanks for reading!)


	12. Chapter 12 (NSFW)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Some more smut! Just for you! And a new chapter! Because I haven’t updated in a year and I feel pretty fuckin’ bad about it! ;v;

Karkat and Dave sit together on the sofa playing an old alternian video game. Dave’s surprisingly good at it, the racer on-screen has long since passed all of its NPC competitors. Anticipation starts setting in as the score slowly approaches the number that marks Karkat’s place at the top of the leaderboard. So of course, he has to do something about it! He casually bumps his elbow into his human matesprit’s, sending the virtual scuttle bug swerving to the right and over an unrailed cliff.

Dave watches in horror,  
“Noooo!! Ohh my god, he was so young! He had plans for the future, plans to start his own _troll version of an auto shop Karkat, how dare you??_ ” He mock-swoons onto the troll’s lap. It's an excessively warm lap as always, something Dave secretly loves to take advantage of. It gets pretty damn cold in space, but that's okay when you've got your own personal space heater in the form of a very soft, and very _hot_ (ha) alien boyfriend. Too bad he's also a little shit. An excellent example of that being the way he displays his sharpest fangs in a triumphant, impish grin.  
“You'll never beat my high score as long as I'm around, _noob_.” Dave scoffs at him, rolling off of his lap and onto all fours at the foot of the sofa before standing up to get a drink. As much as he'd like to throttle Karkat over the back of the couch for wrecking all of that effort to get so far in the game, he can't do so without the risk of endangering his babies. Babies’ safety always comes first.  
“Says the one who just sabotaged my perfect streak! You are _such_ a sore loser, dude.”

Karkat stands as well and stretches momentarily.  
“As far as I'm concerned, I didn't lose _anything_.” He also takes a moment to smooth down his skirt. Yes, you read that right. Karkat Vantas for _once_ in his life actually decided to look somewhat pretty today. Mostly because John bet that he wouldn't wear it when Kanaya handed it to him along with this white button-up. Who's he to say he knows what Karkat would or would not wear? Nobody, that's who. Besides, his whole purpose for leading his matesprit into this less-popular lounge was to pail him stupid in it. Might as well make it easier to slut it up. Of course, the design is red and black plaid; he's pretty sure Dave called it a “Japanese schoolgirl” kind of outfit. Whatever the hell “Japanese” means. The point is, Dave seemed _very_ interested in the idea of Karkat wearing it, so it's killing two birds with one stone. John looks like a scrub, and Dave’s unable to keep his eyes off of him for more than 5 minutes. This is going to be a piece of...uh.. that sweet confection John hates so much. Karkat forgot the human word for it. (They're such pretentious terms, how the hell is he supposed to remember them all?)

NSFW!!:

He quietly strides on over to his matesprit, who is currently enjoying a glass of his most favored earth fruit beverage. It might as well be an addiction; he always has _at least_ a small bottle of it on him. So while he's distracted, Karkat sneaks up from behind and snakes his arms around him. He presses himself against him and amorously purrs that he's horny. This causes Dave to nearly choke on his apple juice before clearing his throat to respond.  
“I-Is that so?” Karkat hums his confirmation against him and kisses between his shoulder blades through his shirt. Dave allows his boyfriend to smooth his small warm hands down to his lower abdomen, and sighs as his fingers delicately slip under the fabric to dance around the area just above his pelvis. His hips twitch and he breathes Karkat's name, to which the small troll chirrs questioningly. Playing the innocent card.

As expected, Dave doesn't seem too keen on the setting his boyfriend chose to do this in. So just in case he's not completely on board with it, Karkat will give him an ultimatum. If he’s really okay with it, he can take it further himself. For now though, something else has managed to catch Karkat's attention. He lets go of his matesprit altogether, moving to the side to pick out a donut from the box on the counter. He likes the chocolate ones with the little circle sprinkles.

Dave watches him do so with mild disgust, because honestly who the hell puts sprinkles on a donut. Let alone a chocolate donut. Nevertheless, he silently pouts at being shrugged off for a fucking sprinkled donut, before defiantly sneaking behind Karkat this time to wrap his arms around his smaller waist and smooth his hands over his slight tummy. Karkat smirks to himself triumphantly. His matesprit whispers between his horns that he's poisoning his children with his weird-ass sprinkles. Karkat scoffs, telling him to fuck off; he eats what he wants. Dave laughs, kissing his left horn.  
"Damn straight." He lets his hands linger at the base of his belly, but ever so slowly lets them slip further down. Karkat growls half-heartedly,  
"Dave, at least let me finish this you fucking tease." The human doesn't seem to be listening, thrumming his fingers like Karkat did just above his bulge sheath.  
"Oh, _I'm_ sorry, I thought you said you were _horny_. Enough to do the exact same thing I'm doing right now. Was that a _lie..?"_ He emphasizes the "lie" part by gently swiping a finger down the slit of his sheath through the skirt. Karkat’s taken off guard by this, shivering and letting out a surprised whine. But instead of turning around and jumping his matesprit, he stubbornly takes another bite out of the donut. He's going to _finish_ it, damn it! It's Dave's fault that he gets distracted by food all the time, so now he has to suffer through it too! He tries to repeat this to himself as his human’s hands move even further down, dear god. He's wearing the red lacy shit Dave got him for Valentine's Day “as a joke” since, again, pailing him was Karkat's main reason for coming down here in the first place… Fuck this donut, it's ruining his sex life. And fuck his pregnancy cravings, because now he has to finish it! He can't just eat half and call it a day, who does it think he is, the _Mayor??_

Dave's hands begin to slip under his skirt, welp, here it comes, moment of truth. He wonders what Dave's reaction will be to finding them himself. He can't keep himself from laughing, and Dave freezes in response, retracting his hands. Nooo! He didn't even touch him!! Karkat stuffs the last of the donut into his mouth as Dave asks what's so funny. The small troll’s shoulders shake as he swallows.  
"Nothing, nothing!" He slips out of his grasp and saunters back to the sofa, still giggling to himself.

Dave follows close behind curiously, his boyfriend allows him to catch his arm and pull him back against him. He asks again, but Karkat only responds by coaxing him to walk backwards, helping him descend when his calves hit the short coffee table in front of the sofa. He still falls on his ass, but forgets the momentary pain when Karkat climbs into his lap. _Oh_ , okay.  
" _I am still horny.._." He purrs, then takes Dave's hands and places them square on his ass. It's a pretty choice ass, so he takes the invitation to squeeze it fondly.

Dave immediately turns pink as his boyfriend begins to unbutton the white button-down. He's not wearing anything underneath, mostly because he knows humans are oddly fond of rumblespheres. His aren't very big, but due to his nature, he isn't really supposed to confine to regular troll anatomy, so they're bigger than usual for a male his size. They're surprisingly easy to hide, though. No one really knows about them except for Dave and Gamzee. And they don't just contain natural padding like modern trolls’ do, they house and shield his tertiary glands. Specifically the tertiary vibrations that move up into his primary vocal chords and become warped into trills, purrs, and everything in between. It's not a thing with modern day trolls though, so he doesn't make those noises on purpose very often. He's dragged out of his thoughts when one of Dave's hands comes up to cup one in his palm. Karkat flushes and purrs for him, leaning back to slip his hands up his own skirt to undo the little ties securing his panties to his hips. Dave smirks when they're pulled out from underneath the skirt.  
"I thought I saw something suspiciously _red_ under there." Karkat scoffs,  
“Wow way to admit to looking up my skirt, you perv.”  
“I’m the only person allowed to, might as well take advantage when I can..”  
They laugh before Karkat leans down to softly press his lips to his matesprit’s.

::::::::::::::

Jade is walking through the dim halls that make up a majority of the meteor, just chillin. Sipping some tea and looking for a quiet place to read up on some notes Kanaya gave her. She finds it fascinating that Karkat's body accepted Dave's "material" to the point of even granting him offspring. Kanaya did mention how trolls had a fail save in order to accommodate the possible failing of the mothergrub system. If they pity them enough, a troll can copulate with species across the galaxy. As long as they are able to breed on their own, and their partner manages to, if it's still intact that is, tear through the thick membrane that acts as a “chastity seal” (basically a sealed troll hymen) and reach the “chamber” (troll uterus). A mothertroll cannot be inseminated if the membrane is still intact, or if the material cannot breach the chamber. And if they do succeed, the offspring are pretty much guaranteed to resemble a troll more than their other contributor's species. Only irrelevant pigmentation changes can occur. The skin and sclera always stay the way they are. It's mostly the hair color, eye color, blood color, horn color, or the teeth-sharpness that can be affected. It’s just not conventional, or effective when it came to controlling the population, so the Empress tried to keep it far from the home planet.

As she thinks on this, Jade hears some oddly suggestive noises coming from the lounge she was currently heading towards. Cautiously, she approaches. It wasn't very hard to realize what the noises were, someone is obviously getting it on in the goddamn lounge area. It's probably Rose and Kanaya again, but when she peeks around the doorway, it is most certainly _not_ Rose and Kanaya who are getting it on. It's _Dave_ and _Karkat_. Wow, since when were they this daring? Either way, it's a much better view considering, unlike Rose and Kanaya, they're both her type, and Karkat's actually wearing a skirt for once, probably in order to avoid having to remove that much clothing so they can just chill like nothing happened afterwards... Boys are nasty. His troll-panties are in his mouth, muffling his noises and freeing his hands so that he can brace them on Dave's abdomen as he bounces fluidly on his dick.

Karkat surprisingly does not look like Karkat during sex, he looks much less angry and stressed. Oh geez, like he's actually enjoying it, oh god she needs to go. But wait, he's also wearing a button-down. Which is open. And he actually looks kind of hot, (who knew he had rumblespheres?) so maybe that could justify her staying for a few more minutes.. They sound like they're almost done anyway, so might as well just wait for the room to be free. (Although she doubts it'll be free since drawn out cuddles are obviously mandatory after doing the deed.) Dave sits up as he literally lifts and drops Karkat in his lap so he can go a little faster. They have no idea that she's been peeking in on this very intimate moment for a good five minutes now. She leans in a bit to hear Dave groan that he's going to come, and raises her eyebrows when Karkat takes his panties out of his mouth to tell him to do it inside; goddamn, he's kinky. Well, in troll culture at least. Dave comes almost immediately after receiving permission, catching Karkat’s seemingly soft black lips in a fervent kiss as he does. Karkat makes an overwhelmed trilling noise before pulling away and crying out into his chest. Apparently troll orgasms last a bit longer than humans' do, because he trembles violently in Dave's lap for a couple minutes longer. The knight curses and rests his forehead against Karkat's shoulder. Karkat sighs softly and slumps over, ohh, oh god how cute, he's _purring!!_ She sips her tea and waits for them to finally notice her presence. Karkat does after a few minutes, but only smiles sheepishly into Dave's shoulder and puts a finger to his lips in a "shh" gesture. He’s probably way too high on alien sex hormones to care about _anything_ right now. She makes a locking motion beside her lips, indicating that her lips are sealed. He lowers his eyelids as she turns to leave. She is _totally_ gonna tell the girls at their next gossip session.

::::::::::::::

The next time Vriska and Karkat talk, it's early in the morning. Karkat is getting some juice since John won't let him have some fucking tea or coffee like a normal troll, so he has to drink the goddamn wriggler-marketed fruit-shit his matesprit's obsessed with. They're just lucky he likes it, even though he would much rather have some caffeine for once. The point is, he feels shitty, and the fact that Vriska's gawking at him from in front of the non-perishable's containment shelf doesn't help. He scowls into his drink as he tries _so hard_ not to ask her what the _fuck_ she's staring at. Then, lo and behold, she walks over. And talks to him like she's actually a decent troll instead of the fucking cameraman on the "National Geographic" shows Jade was showing him the other day. Ugh.  
"Hey, so uh.. You look well..."

He loudly sighs into his cup for approximately 15 seconds.  
"Yes, I _have_ been doing well. You would know that if you actually talked to me instead of staring like a fucking creep from five feet away." Her face goes a little blue,  
"Err, right, sorry about that." He places his cup down and fills it once again. She shifts from foot to foot.  
"Well? Was there something you wanted? Or...?" She reaches back and does the nervous "scratching the back of your neck" thing. Karkat tilts his head at this.  
"Yeeeah, there was... God, it wasn't always this awkward between us, was it?" He shakes his head,  
"No, it wasn't. Until y'know, you “joked” about murdering my wrigglers, then got me kidnapped and nearly disemboweled by an unnerving corrupted carapace. I believe _that's_ where whatever relationship there was between us began to dwindle." She nodded,  
"Fair enough.. I was going to ask, if maybe you'd let me try and make it up to you." He dropped the scowl at that, what the hell? Who is this troll, this cannot be Vriska, since when does Vriska "I'm always right, even when I'm wrong" Serket apologize and go as far as to attempt to make up for her mistakes? He blinks owlishly up at her,  
"... Seriously?" She folds her arms across her chest,  
"Well yeah, I mean.. You can say no. I was just trying to do the right thing." His scowl is back,  
"Since when do _you_ try to do the right thing?" She scoffs,  
"Since I've matured from being a huge _ass_ of a twelve year-old, you little _shit!"_ he purses his lips and narrows his eyes in contemplation.  
".. Alright. Fine." It's her turn to be surprised,  
" _Really?"_ he rolls his eyes,  
"The fuck did I just say? _Yes_ , really! Goddamn, what do you want, an essay??" the small amount of blue returns to her face,  
"Okay, I guess I'll message you where to meet me later then, yeah?" He nods, sipping from his cup. She huffs out a breath, "Cool."  
He snorts,  
"Did being a good person for the very first time really wear you out that much, Serket?" He teases, she scoffs again, face flushing some more.  
" _No._ " He shakes his head and walks over to the sink to wash his cup. Dear god, it's like there are literally two holes being burned into his back.  
"I can feel you staring." She jumps a bit,  
"Sorry, geez. But I will never get used to that." His eye twitches a bit in irritation, guessing she's referring to the subtle swell of his belly.  
"Well, no one said you had to. Lord knows you've made your point in disagreeing with what goes on in _my_ goddamn body." He growls to himself as he passes the threshold en route to his respiteblock. Once he's out of earshot, Vriska growls to herself as well, covering her face with her hands.  
" _Fffuuuuccckk_." She really needs to keep her mouth shut about that shit. Otherwise her chances of getting with him will be slim… No, wait, what the fuck? What kind of thought was that? Where did that even come from– she doesn’t like him like that! Right? Yes, right…. Riiiiiiiight.

::::::::::::::

When he gets to his respiteblock, Dave's lying in his pile waiting. He notices his boyfriend's agitation and sits up.  
"Woah, where's the fire?" Karkat continues to silently make his way to his matesprit, promptly crawling into his lap and slumping against his chest.  
"I just realized I basically agreed to go on a hate-date with Vriska." He grumbled. Dave's eyes widen,  
"O-oh, shit. Do you like, _like_ her like that?" He has to admit that he's always dreaded the possibility of having to share Karkat. He lets out a silent breath of relief when Karkat responds with a terse " _fuck no_." He holds the small troll closer to him, relishing in the feeling of the endearing little baby bump pressing against him. "Cool, so what are you gonna do? You still plannin’ on going?" Karkat groans in frustration,  
"Ugh, _yeah_. If it gets her off my ass. She stared at me for ten whole minutes from five feet away before actually talking to me." Dave sympathetically pecks his horn,  
"Well, lemme know how it goes; and if you need me to, I will, as your matesprit, slap a bitch." He snorts at that, leaning back to chastely kiss his human matesprit.  
"M’kay, if that's the case, I'll be sure to let you know."

::::::::::::::

“To be quite honest with you Jade, I call bullshit. Karkat does not seem at all the type to not take an opportunity to flip out and do some odd acrobatic maneuver off of a conveniently placed piece of furniture.” Rose has had that skeptical look on her face ever since Jade followed up the phrase “kinky borderline-public sex” with “Dave and Karkat”.  
“Believe what you want to believe, Lalonde! I know what I saw, besides, isn't his new motherly status supposed to prevent him from doing a perfect spiral pirouette off the handle?” This question is directed mostly at Kanaya, who seems to be deeply entrenched in that ancient troll-anatomy book. Jade doesn't think she could concentrate that hard on a huge dusty book unless it had some dicks in it.. maybe it has some dicks in it? God, she's been spending way too much time with Dave and Karkat, hasn’t she? Either way, it most likely does have at least _some_ dicks. It’s an anatomy book!  
“It's no use, she's disappeared into the realm of pregnancy that doesn't discriminate between genders. Who knows how long she’ll be gone.” The troll in question decides to take exactly that moment to refocus on her surroundings.  
“My apologies, did you say something?” Rose smirks and gives a helpless shrug when Jade turns to exchange a look.  
“You must be hella serious about bringing back that egg production gene.” Kanaya marks her page before closing the book altogether.  
“Of course! It is my duty as a jadeblood to protect and advance all troll reproductive methods. Now, what was it you wanted to know?"  
“Oh, I was just looking for confirmation that Karkat’s new mommy status makes it hard for him to get acrobatically pissed when it isn’t a matter of life and death.” Kanaya nods,  
“Yes, that is correct. Otherwise he’d probably injure himself further along the line when the eggs begin to interfere with his center of gravity.” She’s about to continue when a loud crash sounds in the lounge nextdoor.

Terezi and Vriska’s voices can be heard, but another can be heard roaring clearly over them.  
“SHUT THE _MOTHERFUCKING HELL UP_ AND TELL ME WHERE I CAN FIND THAT _SICK MOTHERFUCKER STRIDER_.” Kanaya exchanges a concerned glance with Jade and Rose, before they all quickly get to their feet to rush to the other room.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I’m like Kanaya and her mothertroll studies when it comes to this fic, only hella less productive. I felt like my new medication was stifling my creative flow, so I stopped taking it and whaddaya know! Sudden inspiration to post a new chapter! :O  
> Also, I’m a basic bitch that needs Karkat to show up a skirt and button-up at least once in my fic in order to keep living. ;9


End file.
